Friday, December 18, 2009

Day 65

Thanks for all the kind comments considering what I call a slump. I guess I spoiled myself last time I lost weight. I went every week from March to July with a loss of at least one pound or more. That is what I expect this time as well but need to remember that my exercise is no where near what it was in the states. I did something different at the gym 5 days a week & sometimes I would go for a night class. I guess though if I can get a car I can work out on post. Not really where I want to work out but something different then videos would be great. At least until I can get outside. I love the gym just not working out with the military and the gossip wives that go with it.

Dawne had asked me if I came from a snowy state. That maybe I wasn't used to it or something. The sad answer is I come from Colorado. Have lived in the same city my entire life. So snow, cold, nights being dark before 5. I am so used to it. I have always hated it though. To say that you come from Colorado and don't ski is almost a sin. I have gone skiing I just find no fun being in the cold and falling on my ass.

That had me thinking though. This is the first Christmas without my parents. I know I am 27 and I need to grow up but when you have a child at 16 and live with them till you are 24ish you have Christmas together. When your husband is in Iraq you still have Christmas together.

Also when I was talking to Marcelle the other night she asked me how long I had been here. That had me thinking. I have been here 5 months on Sunday. Doesn't seem that long but when you go from working and doing something every weekend to nothing I think it might be getting to me. I am just choosing to ignore it though if it is. Since I have been here I have kept to myself. We don't live on base so I am surrounded by Germans. It is hard, harder then I thought.

I really just want my life back. Hopefully losing some weight will make me feel comfortable in my own skin and god knows that's a start. I really don't like being around people as I don't feel comfortable with me. I feel like I am being judged or that I am not pretty enough to hang out with. Sunday is going to be a big deal for me. I have never met Marcelle in person but just with our height difference I am going to feel huge. We won't even go there about the weight. I know I am going to have a blast though! She seems like a really cool person.


Fran said...

Dear Sarah, I won't believe that people won't hang out with you. Of course they will! You say you don't live on base so isn't it possible you join a gym or is it too far away from your home?

How long will you be in Germany?

It won't be easy Christmas without your parents but try to make it a wonderful Christmas for your family and yourself in Germany.

Marcelle said...

ahhhhhhhhhhh I want to hang out with you...
How do you think I feel...I'm more than double your age - why would a 25 year old want to hang out with an old woman????
We will feel weird to start off with, but give us time we will chatter away like long lost friends.
I cant wait for Sunday....xx

Lacey said...

Okay, so here's the breakdown. (Lemme here some "breakdown beats," and yes I've been drinking, haha.)

Sarah before:
You've lived in Colorado, in the same town, your ENTIRE life. You've had a job, if not TWO jobs, since you were 14. You had lots of friends, girls nights out (the fact that you get out more than me when you're the one with children depresses me, but I digress, haha), family members, shopping, every other weekend without my precious second cousin, cable television, a car you could drive, independence... the list goes on and on and on.

Sarah after:
Your first "move" has been to an entirely different COUNTRY. You don't know anyone that even speaks English, rather lone people to fill all those "friend" voids. You're half a world away (literally, Germany's not exactly Ohio) from every single person you know, whether that's friends, family members, or even the idiot ex. There's no going "out" for the night for multiple reasons, including the fact that there's no where to "go," there's no one to go WITH, and there are no babysitters. You don't even have a freaking TV because nothing is in English. You can't get a job on base because there aren't any, you don't know how to drive a stick, and you're completely dependent on your husband's income.

The fact that you have a "slump" every now and then is totally normal. And I know that once you figure out the whole car thing, things will be a LOT easier.

I'm so glad that you have found Marcelle (and to think, all because of blogging, wink!). You guys are going to have so much fun! And she shouldn't worry one bit, because 90% of my closest friends are twice my age, haha. I can't wait to hear all about it!

Okay, now that I've rambled, I wanted to tell you that I was looking through your wedding pictures tonight and Mike said something along the lines of "Sarah looked really good at her wedding. REALLY good. She's a pretty lady." So I freaked out and was all, "She reached her wedding weight again! Let me show you how awesome she looks!" And there's no pictures because you haven't posted them!

POST THE PICTARS NOW SARAH. I know you don't see much of a difference, and I know you're going to whine about how you still have so much to lose, but you MUST! You're one of the most gorgeous people I know (inside and out, but I know the inside means squat to you at the moment so I won't press the issue of how FREAKING COOL YOU ARE), and if you don't post pictures now I will be forced to come to Germany and kick your ass!

Okay, so I'm too poor to go to Germany and kick your ass right this second, but do it anyway! Or I'll cry... or something!!!