Thursday, May 27, 2010

Day 215 - Weigh In

Yup it is that time again. I knew that it wasn't going to be good seeing how I lost 2.6 pounds last week. I knew I was sick and I wasn't eating. Well here I am trying to ignore the subject. Anyways I gained 2 pounds back. I am not sure if it is the meds. they put me on or the fact that nothing taste right so I am trying everything in site. Nothing is giving me that full feeling. It is even more discouraging because I have made sure to do some form of exercise every day even though I have felt like shit. So that would make my loss for last week .6 which sounds about right for me. I am really discouraged but on I go.

I have decided to get my pictures done for our 4th anniversary in August. I had no clue what to get my husband and he always complains that he has picutres with me or of me. I found this Army Wife that just moved to Germany and I love her photos. I think I am going to go with the 50's pin up look. The first two pictures are showing the original and then when she edits them. Her goal is to make our husbands fall in love with us all over again. I would like to be able to lose 10 pounds by pictures but the fact that she can smooth me over makes me happy and ready to take the plunge.

These are just different photos she has done. I love them and come July I will be shopping for something to wear for the photos.

I hope this turns out to be a good idea. I think it is going to be fun though.. To quote her through an email exchange "By the way, beauty and sex appeal is not a size.. i am a size 16 and i am one hot mama LOL " right there I can tell she is going to be fun. By the way her comment was to me saying I needed to lose more weight first before I could do pictures.
Here is my 30 pound picture finally!!

Well off to eat dinner. Leaving town tomorrow after work and won't be back until Monday!!!! So this is the last blog until then. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Day 214

Steve over at Log My Loss posted a very interesting link that I thought that I would share. 20 worst drinks in America. I am proud to report that I do not drink any of these and in fact I have never had anyone of them ever!! So I am safe in that department.

Wanted to share a dessert that I have love!!

OK so they might not count as a dessert to you but they do to me. I love them! I really love the strawberry ones! The second box, the one's with the cream in the middle are not that great. Won't be buying those again like I will with the second box.

It has been raining non stop since I got out of the gym this afternoon. It took everything that I had to run a mile. This cold is kicking my butt but I am trying to at least do something still even if it is small.

I received an award from Marcelle.

The rules are to post 7 things about myself & pass it on to 15 bloggers. I am passing it on to everyone that wants it. My internet is still acting up and I don't want to risk it cutting out well I am adding people. It has taken me over an hour just to write this.

1. I love magazines. At one point I had 8 plus delivered to my house every month. I am sure that the mailman loved me at the beginning of every month.

2. I am on my 7th car and I know I get a new one when I move back to the states. Never wrecked any of them. Just kept changing my mind.

3. I could live on sushi

4. I used to date guys based on the last name

5. I love swimming but I hate the way I look in a swimsuit

6. I have an issue with odd numbers but I hate the number 6. Makes grocery shopping interesting.

7. I round the number at the gas tank...every time.

Please take this award if you would like to. Everyone I follow has such great blogs!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Day 213

I got up this morning and was out the door for a run at 7am. This is a very big thing for me as running first thing in the morning is not me. Well really anything at 7am is not me but I knew I needed to be out the door to walk my daughter to the bus stop or I would talk myself out of it. Glad I did it though!

Dinner was supposed to be chicken enchiladas. The store was out of corn tortillas so I had to buy flower and ended up making a burrito/enchilada. Not really sure what it was though. This is what I mixed up to put in the inside. Boiled chicken, black beans, onion, red pepper, chili peppers & cilantro.

Then I screwed it up by adding green sauce and A LOT of cheese. It's the mexican in me. I can't help it. Added tomato, olives & avocado.

This is a picture of me after running tonight. I look like a total dork but oh well. I wasn't digging last nights pictures either so if it was up to me you guys would never see any of me.

The internet has been off and one for the last two days so I am cutting this short so that I can read your blogs. I am so behind and tomorrow I have soccer practice so busy night again.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Day 210, 211 & 212

Thanks for all the comments on the last post. I actually thought for a sec. or two to get a good buzz going on to tell my husband what was up. For some reason I have trouble talking to him and the only way I can is in the dark in the bedroom or when I am drunk. I was always taught to keep emotions or issues to myself so to get me to talk about them takes a lot.

The scale is back up but I knew it wasn't going to stay where it was. I hadn't eaten anything solid in a week. Now all I do it eat because nothing satisfies me or fills me up. I am not taking the meds. they gave me anymore. Between wanting to eat everything and being dizzy it isn't worth it. I still have a bad cough and my face hurts but I am going to try Zumba tonight. I know running still isn't a good idea. Hopefully I will survive Zumba!

It's finally warm here in Germany! I have had the windows open the last couple of days and Chris grilled out on Sunday. I love this weather as it gives me energy and puts me in the best mood!

It's 9:30 and I have just sat done for the day. The husband gets mad if he doesn't get his time in with me. Will read every ones blogs tomorrow as I have no soccer practice or Zumba to get in the way.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Day 209

I took yesterday off from work because of my cold but went to work today. Well the pills that the doctor has given me has me a bit dizzy. Once I get moving around or talking a lot then I start coughing up a storm again. I have decided to take the weekend off exercising and I will start again on Monday with Zumba. Lets see if I can make it more then one day exercising next week!

Yesterday I was looking at my BMI and virtual images of what I looked and will look like I looked up my highest weight. From the highest weight I have ever been I am down 47 pounds. I am pretty sure that I am the lowest I have ever been since I have been with Chris. The one thing I don't get is any compliments. Sometimes I wonder if he even notices. Sometimes I think he doesn't want me to weigh less. No one really pays attention to the fat girl. I have just noticed a change in the way he acts when we go out. Since we met I always said I was going to lose weight and this is the first time I ever have lost enough to notice.

I also realize that as the weight comes off I have nothing to hide behind. I have always felt "safe" when I was bigger. Things have happened to me more then once when I was 120 pds. I felt like as long as I was bigger though I was safe. I don't want to look at myself, why would anyone else. I ended up learning that size, fat and lack of self confidence does not stop anyone.

I haven't had these feelings come back up until recently. I feel like the more weight I lose the more strength I will lose. It scares me and I think that is why I haven't been pushing myself to weigh less and why I am alright with maintaining right now. I am in the smallest size that I have been in, in over 10 years. I do want to hit my goal weight but I am scared. I am scared about what might happen to me. I have been looking at my weight and I want to lose 30 more pounds but what would 30 more pounds do to me?

Some how I have to get over this hurdle to get the scale moving. I can't be stuck at this weight. I am still considered overweight. Somehow I have to get past this mental block though. This is nothing I have brought up with my husband. Not sure if I should or not....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Your Wish Is My Command....Day 190 -208

That is to a certain extent of course!! I have decided to try this one more time. I have felt myself slipping and well I don't really think that I have anything worth reading about or wisdom or some extraordinary amount of weight to lose what weight I do have is pissing me off. I thought about waiting until Monday to start this blog over but Monday is to far away.

I love my new HR monitor. I wish that I had gotten it earlier but that is my lose for not listening to Marcelle. Glad I took the leap and got it though. I am burning 500 more calories doing Zumba!! As for running I haven't really been. It is so cold here and windy every day. Now I am sick and even bending over makes me head spin.

I bought a ipod nano today. Something for running this summer. Or when we get heat. Can't wait to play with it.

The funny thing is I have been reading some of the blogs and wishing my husband was more supportive. He promised to be more supportive then he is currently. He promised to run with me, go to the gym with me but after writing this blog I realized that he is being supportive. Just in another way. He has gotten me new running shoes, HR monitor, weights, yoga mat,ipod nano & my iphone (which has many many weight loss apps.)He is helping. In his own way. I guess I owe him a big hug when he gets home.

On to more exciting news. Today is Thursday so it is weigh in day. I have been keeping track of my weight every Thursday and I have been losing. Only ounces but losing. Today I am down 2.6 pounds. Well that is exciting I know I am sick and that is playing a role. Hopefully I will kick this sickness and get back on track. I have 19 pounds to go before I reevaluate my goal weight. I say this because after reading some peoples goal weights I wonder if I need to drop mine even further. I have 5 more pounds to lose before I am considered on target with my BMI. I am still currently overweight. Also after looking at pictures from this last weekend I have a very long way to go still. I am not happy with what I am seeing.

"No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit" Louis Armstrong