Day 78 Weigh In

My last weigh in for 2009 and do you think the scale could of worked with me? I would of thought it would of been happier that I was putting less weight on it but no. Well I am happy/sad about my weigh in. I have a no loss no gain. I really wanted to be lower but as I look back I know where I could of made some changes. Exercise. When I looked at the calendar for the last two weeks I have done a fitness video twice. I have walked but not enough to get my heart rate up. I guess having no gain/loss is good considering the holidays and some of the sweets that I had that I would of normally not eat. I did set the alarm & exercise this morning before we went out. I knew if I didn't then it wouldn't get done. I am so proud of myself.

I am thinking about making a mini goal for my birthday in March. Something that takes my total number to lose & makes it smaller. I am really excited to go into the New Year ahead of where I was last year. 2010 is going to be MY YEAR. The year I finally find where I am comfortable with myself. Both inside and out. The year I allow my husband to touch me and where I never have to hear him tell me "The day you stop needing me to validate you then you have made it."

My present that I got that is already setting next to my bed to see every time I roll out is a diary from Marcelle.

I really think that seeing something from Marcelle will help me out so much. It will be there for the days that I don't think I can do it. It will be there to remind me that she did it so I can do. I am not the only one living out of my aliment making a change. She is such a strong woman and I am lucky to be living so close to her. My husband has 24 hr. duty tomorrow AGAIN so I will have plenty of time to start the New Year down writing what I want to do. Knowing what works for me and doesn't.

Hope everyone has a great New Year's Eve and a great start at 2010!!! I bought a diet Pepsi for the party tonight. I am going prepared.

Day 77

OK so since Christmas Vacation started on the 2oth I haven't done a workout video till today. I have walked, shoveled snow and went to the gym once with Marcelle. I have done no videos though. It kinda kicked my butt today. I decided to do the workout with 5 lb. weights. I got up and did the video first thing since I knew Chris would be home by 1 today. He has the next 4 days off so I think I will send him to his bedroom everyday so I can work out!

Here is a picture of what I have been eating every morning! I love it and I know that it is great for me.


I forgot to take a picture of the item that is going to help me out in the New Year but I will tomorrow. I did take a picture of my new purse I got in the mail though!



Just found out from my husband that we r going up the street to some guys house that he works with for New Years Eve. I really just wanted to stay home but oh well. They asked what I like to liquor I like to drink and I told Chris I am not drink. I refuse to drink my calories. I will bring a diet soda and maybe take a shot at the end of the night but that is it.

Any fun plans for tomorrow night?

Day 76

Today Chris was home which always throws my day off. He went in at 9am on Monday and got off this morning at 9am. They have them rotate the lovely 24 hr. shift. That meant that if I didn't get my workout video in before he got home then I wouldn't do it because I refuse to do it in front of him. I refuse to set an alarm during winter break. Do you see where this is going?

Well god had other plans and made it snow. A LOT. It is my week to shovel this humogus area we share with the two other people that live in the building. We switch every week. Well I shoveled and shoveled and had to throw it over a 6ft. wall. Needless to say my back hurts and there was a lot of lifting. My husband and daughter stayed inside where it was warm! As much as I hate shoveling snow I consider it exercise so I do it. Even if I had worked out today I would have done it because it works other areas of my body. I think I might be sore tomorrow though.LOL. I also think I might have more snow to move in the morning. We will see.

I need to walk to the market tomorrow and get more yogurt to last me before these close for New Years. I am falling in love with my morning breakfast!

Did anyone get anything for Christmas that will help them along in their weight loss journey? I did and I will share tomorrow!

Day 75

Before I get going on anything else to write about I wanted to let everyone know that fellow blogger Marcelle has been admitted to the hospital for the next 5 days to run tests on her eyes and thin her blood. She has been having trouble seeing for the last week or so and went today. The doctors are hoping that she hasn't had a stroke of some sort so please keep her in your prayers.

Today I have kept myself ultra busy. I have shoveled,dusted, swept & mopped the entire house. I also did a walking video. Time to get back into the normal everyday life again. My house is clean of all the Christmas decorations and a feel a sense of calm. Clutter has been one thing that I have never been able to handle. Not even in closets or the garage. Just knowing that it is there haunts me. My husband finds it very amusing as most guys would.

Today I stepped on the scale as I do everyday and I am down past my wedding weight! Now to just keep it going down and not up will be the key. I can't wait to see what I weigh in on New Years Day. This will be the first time that I am going into the New Year ahead of schedule. Here is a few pictures of my time with Marcelle.


One of the many treats that Rachelle had that Marcelle & I said no to.


Sushi for lunch on Wednesday before I came home. Oh how I have missed my sushi!



The Frankfurt Mall. I love all the buildings in Germany and even though this one is new it is so beautiful.



Cathedral of Fulda. What a wonderful place.


Rachelle and I above the Frankfurt Skyline.

Day 74

I have done a lot of cleaning today to make up for my lack of exercise. Only having the one TV in the living room has us all trying to use it. It's times like this I really wish that I was in the states. We had plenty of TV's for everyone to use. Oh well. I did the Wii today and tomorrow I am back on track with exercising. I am also going to mop the house and move some furniture around to sweep under. Trying to move more after realizing when I was with Marcelle that the videos I do don't do enough for me.

Chris has 24 hr. duty again tomorrow so it will just be Rachelle and I for dinner so it will be something simple. I am so glad that he gets a four day for New Years!

I love my yogurt and oats for breakfast thanks to Marcelle and I wake up looking forward to breakfast which is something new for me. Today I added bananas to make me a little fuller longer!

After seeing the pictures that Marcelle took I feel like I might need to re look at my weight loos goal. I don't feel like I did when I weighed this in 2008. I feel fatter. I am so not impressed with the size of my face. Finding a picture though of me at my heaviest is going to be hard to find as I hated and still hate the camera. I really don't want to. I want the memories.I am going to look through what I have and see if I can find anything. I did leave most of the pictures at my moms.

Day 72 & 73

Oh how I really don't want to write this but what is the point of ignoring it right. I have tried but it haunts me. You would think hiding something from people that you don't personally know would be easy but it isn't for me.

Christmas day I think I ate everything I put my eyes on. The day stated good. I had yogurt with oats. Then it went to hell. I had popcorn,tomato soup, pumpkin cream cheese spread on graham crackers, turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and them a piece of double pumpkin cheesecake (which I made and was less then 150 cal. a slice).

Do you see what I mean. I should of never ate all of that. I got on the scale today and I was down but I am praying that it doesn't hit tomorrow which I think it will. Today I have had no trouble not eating everything. I had my three meals and nothing else.

I am 20 days late with no cramps at all but food wise I am either starving some days or not hungry. I told my husband that it is driving me nuts. Yesterday was the first time that I just didn't feel satisfied at all. It was a really wired feeling. It was like I was eating but it never hit my stomach. I never want that feeling again. I don't have much time to make sure that I go into the New Year without a gain. That is my goal. I don't expect to lose after the day I had but I refuse to have a gain. I have to work but butt off this week. I am starting 2010 right!

As of this morning when I got on the scale I weigh the same amount I weighed when I walked down the isle July 25,2008. I already weigh less then when I married him the first time in 2006. There is no turning back now!

Now I need to make new goals for 2010!

Days 67-71 Weigh In Day

Today is my normal weigh in day and I am only down .07 of a pound. I am happy that I spent time away from home and came home without a gain. It was easier watching what I ate while I was gone though because I was busy! Busy in a great way. My monthly visitor is still MIA. Drives me nuts I tell you.

While I was staying with Marcelle I told her how frustrating it is to follow blogs with such great losses every week. In fast sometimes it makes me want to give up because I feel like I am doing something wrong. I know I have read small losses are consistent & that you have a smaller chance of having such lose skin which I do not want but I want the big numbers like everyone else has. Sometimes it just doesn't feel fair.

What I did learn from her are great tips to try out at home. I was having trouble with the whole yogurt thing.Never filled me up. OMG she had the best oats to put in it. Needless to say I was at the market this morning buying the yogurt & oats. Came home and made me a bowl. I look forward to this every morning now! Who would of thought all I needed was a little crunch. I also learned a couple of great dinners to make that Rachelle ate up and it is good for you. She also made a salad with every dinner that I would of never done but it is the perfect low cal side dish.

Most importantly I learned after going to the gym with her (I haven't been in a year) is that the walking video I do at home is not pushing me enough. I need more. I haven't sweat the way I did at the gym in along time and I loved it. I felt like I was really doing something.

She also gave me the idea to get a heart rate monitor watch and I am. I am going to look into a good one. I want one I can grow with. Meaning has most the bells and whistles I will need as I expand my exercise once it gets warm again.

Thanks again Marcelle for everything you taught me! It is nice to know I can go on a mini vacation during the holidays and still lose weight!!

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Day 66 - MIA

I have had the munchies today and I am not to sure why. I don't really even know if I would call it that because I haven't been grabbing food all day but I don't feel satisfied when I am done eating and I hate that feeling. It leads me to wanting more to find something else until I feel satisfied but I need to learn to ignore that.

Breakfast
2 cups cheerios, 3/4 cup fat free milk, crystal light

Lunch-Subway
6 inch turkey on wheat with lettuce, tomato, 1/2 slice American cheese,mustard,vinegar, pepper and 1 line of light mayo & after watching her to that 1 line I will just have to give it up to tell them to give me that damn bottle & do it myself..lol

Dinner
Frozen pizza, tomato soup

Snack
1 Reese's Miniature

The frozen pizza was not low fat or Weight Watchers and that's what did me in for the day I think. I am finishing my day with black coffee and fat free French Vanilla Coffee Mate.

I am meeting Marcelle for the first time tomorrow and staying with her until Wednesday so I will be MIA from the blog but will catch up when I come home. God knows that I have nothing to do at home anyway lol.

I am hoping to learn a lot from her and I think this may just be the on little trip that I go on where I come home not gaining extra weight.

See you all Wednesday night!

Day 65

Thanks for all the kind comments considering what I call a slump. I guess I spoiled myself last time I lost weight. I went every week from March to July with a loss of at least one pound or more. That is what I expect this time as well but need to remember that my exercise is no where near what it was in the states. I did something different at the gym 5 days a week & sometimes I would go for a night class. I guess though if I can get a car I can work out on post. Not really where I want to work out but something different then videos would be great. At least until I can get outside. I love the gym just not working out with the military and the gossip wives that go with it.

Dawne had asked me if I came from a snowy state. That maybe I wasn't used to it or something. The sad answer is I come from Colorado. Have lived in the same city my entire life. So snow, cold, nights being dark before 5. I am so used to it. I have always hated it though. To say that you come from Colorado and don't ski is almost a sin. I have gone skiing I just find no fun being in the cold and falling on my ass.

That had me thinking though. This is the first Christmas without my parents. I know I am 27 and I need to grow up but when you have a child at 16 and live with them till you are 24ish you have Christmas together. When your husband is in Iraq you still have Christmas together.

Also when I was talking to Marcelle the other night she asked me how long I had been here. That had me thinking. I have been here 5 months on Sunday. Doesn't seem that long but when you go from working and doing something every weekend to nothing I think it might be getting to me. I am just choosing to ignore it though if it is. Since I have been here I have kept to myself. We don't live on base so I am surrounded by Germans. It is hard, harder then I thought.

I really just want my life back. Hopefully losing some weight will make me feel comfortable in my own skin and god knows that's a start. I really don't like being around people as I don't feel comfortable with me. I feel like I am being judged or that I am not pretty enough to hang out with. Sunday is going to be a big deal for me. I have never met Marcelle in person but just with our height difference I am going to feel huge. We won't even go there about the weight. I know I am going to have a blast though! She seems like a really cool person.

Day 64

This is going to be short as today is one of those days I really don't care. It's cold it's snowing and I swear if the weather ruins my chance to get out this coming week and met Marcelle I am not going to be happy.




Yes it's that day again. I have only lost .6 of a pound. Oh this upsets me so much. It's so hard when you follow so many other peoples blogs that lose 2 and 3 pounds and I can't do it for the live of me short of starving myself.

I just feel really down about this right now. My period is 11 days late. No clue where it is. The high was -8 here today and it started snowing at 6 tonight. It's all enough to make me want to cry.

I did work out after seeing the number on the scale. I talked myself out of it for about 2 minutes but decided that I am only one that can change the number so I worked out.

Enough of my piety party. I don't want you guys to stop following me because of my complaining. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Day 63

I really need to work on my eating again. I say this because I am so miserably full right now that if my dinner exited my esophagus I would not complain. My fault though. All I ate today was oatmeal with a piece of whole wheat bread with a little pumpkin spread that I made yesterday and some crystal light. Oh and 1 and only 1 Reese's peanut butter miniature candy.Nothing for lunch and at about 4:30 I was starving so I had 1 slice of deli turkey meat and 20 almonds. Then dinner which was a Bean and Beef Enchilada Casserole. It was yummy and something I probably should have not had so much of. A lesson I need to learn from Dawne. She is all about the just before full rule. Maybe I should write that on paper and place it on my side of the table! Or better yet I could eat during that day so I don't go nuts at the last minute.

I have taken photos because I am at the 15 pound loss but I am having trouble putting them up. Not with blogger but with myself. I hate that when you have to lose so much that you don't see anything until like 30 or 40 pounds. Makes me wonder if I should change my goal and lose more weight. I mean I need to lose 39 more pounds. Will 39 pounds show enough of a difference? I guess only time will tell. It would be nice if 39 pounds was all I needed left to lose something tells me otherwise though.

I get the privilege to go and spend a few days with Marcelle and her husband. On Sunday we will meet them at the half way point and I hope to pick up some great tips from her well I am there. I feel like I won a trip to The Biggest Loser ranch. I mean have you seen how fit she is and I get to be in her presence . There is no pressure there is there is there Marcelle.LOL.

I did a 2.5 mile walk/run today so that was good. I feel like I should do more as I still hurt.

Day 62- Christmas Weigh In

Today was weigh in for the Countdown to Christmas Challenge. I am down 1.3 pounds. After a weekend where I was sure that I would be up I am done and it gives me a sense to push a little harder to keep it going down. My goal was to lose 15 and I am at 15.2! The hard part will be keeping it off as I am going to visit a fellow blogger Marcelle at her home for a few days. I love the fact that I am getting out of the house though and I think I can learn a lot from her. I mean have you seen her pictures? She looks better then I did at 120 pounds.

I did try really hard yesterday to try and watch what I ate. I also had no soda but now I have a migraine from hell. Soda is something I am having a hard time giving up. I only drink soda but I know that I shouldn't drink it at all. I have read nothing but bad stuff about soda yet I still drink it. I am as bad as my husband is with cigarettes. I think I need to try and work on soda at the beginning of the year. I mean what is a New Year without a New Year's Resolution? Weight loss will not be mine this year. I am going into the new year smaller and so happy!

As hard as it is to stay at home everyday I thank god that I have this blog and such great people to hold me accountable. I know last time I wasn't working for 3 months due to a move & my husband coming home from Iraq I put the weight on as I was depressed not working and had nothing to do. I knew coming here that it was going to be hard no to sit around and eat. If I was working I would have something to do but getting a job on base is hard as there never seems to be one. I am finding this easier though because of you guys. If I could get you all a Christmas present I would. I don't even want to know what I might be weighing right now. Instead I am 15 pounds lighter and on my way to lose more! Who thought one could actually look forward to getting on the scale. Something I used to hate doing I look forward to doing (as long as it goes down)! I love seeing myself get healthier and love reading about things you guys do that might help me.

We can all make it through these last couple weeks and end 2009 with a bang and start 2010 with a bigger BANG!!! (sometimes I am so cheesy)

Day 59, 60 & 61

This weekend was fun but I also made some bad choices that I have learned from and have to work towards changing in the future. Friday night I was stressed and craving chocolate and peanut butter. That always seems to happen around that time of the month. Well needless to say my husband brought me home a bag of peanut butter m&m's and I finished it off by Saturday. He also brought me home Reese's miniatures and I am proud to say that they are in the fridge. I haven't eaten them. Yet! Bad news. I am a week late so the cravings might not be over.

Saturday we went to Regensburg to a Christmas Market and ate McDonald's for lunch. Chris ordered a value pack(something they do in Germany). It was 2 big macs,1 fry and 1 soda. Now had I been thinking which I normal do I would have a)not ordered the big mac or taken some of the bread away and ordered a diet. I refuse to drink my calories. Chris won't drink diet which sucks but he ate most of the fries so I was good there.

We did a lot of walking but it was snowing hard so we didn't stay as long as I wanted.











I bought a couple ornaments and got a mug! Yesterday I was sitting here thinking about how close I was to the goal for Christmas and how I might have screwed it up and decided to get up and move. It felt good. Today has been hard because on the scale I am up .4 and weigh in is tomorrow for the Christmas Challenge and I feel there will be no loss.

I feel I have learned a lot from this weekend and breaking down.This is the first Christmas I will be without my family, Rachelle is having trouble in school and I received what could be really bad news from my mom. I need to realize that m&m's wont make it go away. So why the hell did I do it?

Day 58

If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end. Julius Erving

I think this is something I am going to have to tell myself everyday for awhile. Today I felt like staying in bed. I don't want to get up. I just want to cry in the dark.I don't care if I eat or eat everything. I don't care if I exercise either. I have no clue what is going on. I hate being like this to. I want to be the happy wife/mother but right now I could care less if dinner is on the table.Don't worry it always is.

Exercise was hard for me to do but I did it. It took about an hour for me to get motivated and I know that this is something I need to stay on top of. I refuse to fall off and have to start over. Any suggestions on how to get over this hump? Hopefully getting out of the house will help but tomorrow the high is 0 so we will see. I might freeze to death but I guess it will be good to get out. We are going to Regensburg. It is a beautiful place. Here is a picture I took from last time we were there.





I am cutting this short as I really don't know what to say.

Day 57 Weigh In

I did it. I finally did it. I lost 2.4 pounds. Yes I checked the scale more then once to make sure I wasn't seeing anything. I celebrated today by doing a video with weights! I figure I might be on a roll so I should keep it up. I might be in a whole new category come the new year if I can take off 5 more pounds. That might be pushing it but it is worth the try right?

I found this quote from Lee Iacocca. No clue who that is but I think this works with weight loss.


You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance.


To be honest when I got off the scale I was thinking well I am ahead. I have lost the most weight this week then any other week so I can take today off. It has been raining all day and I was not motivated. Then I thought about how this weight loss helps me. I really want this. I want it bad. I dream every night about the things I will be able to wear. About how it will bring me closer to my husband.The honeymoon at the beach we want but I refuse to go on until I am skinny enough. We are all adults here right?

My weight effects what goes on where all the "magic" happens. I want lights off, on the bottom and don't touch me. Now really how long can a 25 year old guy live with that? He wants to try stuff and I always say when I am 50 pounds lighter. That is not fair to him or me. He has noticed that things are slowly changing though. As the weight drops and I feel more comfortable in my skin I am starting to make the moves again. The only way that used to happen was with 5 shots of alcohol which I am sure is more calories then I needed.

So I am going to have perseverance. I am going to beat my battle with weight loss for the last time. I am finally going to start living my life the way I want to instead of hiding. The world better watch out (in about 39 pounds).

Day 56

The littlest things make me happy anymore. I wanted a new water bottle. I have a thing about drinking without a straw and whatnot. Well last night my husband brought me home this
Now I can keep up with the amount of water that I drink also! It is like a 2 and 1 present.

I also found this at the commissary.

It is only 15 calories per 10 sprays. I love ranch dressing and also know that I shouldn't eat it and the reduced ranch leaves a funny taste to me so when I saw this I thought why not. It wasn't to bad.It wasn't the ranch I love but it will do.I made this for lunch so I could try out it out.


I also received an award from Marcelle. Check out her blog if you haven't. Love it.


By accepting this award I have to mention 7 things you don't know about me.

1. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Two years ago I dropped over $1,000 on decorations and haunted houses.
2.This is the first time since I was 14 that I haven't worked. I got my first job at 14 at Taco Bell and haven't stopped working until I moved to Germany.
3. Summer is my favorite season
4.I could sit on the beach and just stare out over the water. I love the ocean.
5. I really want to go to Paris and Italy well I am living in Germany
6. I love cleaning. I think it is because I see results right away!
7. I am from Colorado and have lived there my entire life until I moved to Germany. I really miss home.

Weigh In is tomorrow so I hope I have a loss again. I need to do my walking videos today!!

Day 55

Yes it is that time of the week again. With these 2 weigh ins a week they really keep me on my toes. Almost the end of my Christmas weigh ins. I have one more weigh in next Tuesday then my final weigh in will be Christmas morning.



OK so I am down again!! 1.3 pounds and I have 1.1 pound left to go. I am so going to make it. I know it is only 1.1 pounds but with the luck I have it might stick to me like glue. So I am going to push through this.

Look what I got in the mail yesterday from my mother! She had a list of things to find that I can't get over here.



The popcorn is only 1 point per bag for Weight Watchers. The hot coco and apple cider is 0. The apple cider only has 15 calories and the coco is 25. Now I have something else to look forward to beside diet soda and Crystal Light.

I also got the 30 Day Shred. I have done a lot of research on this video and everyone seems to love it. I watched some of it last night and wow. It may be only 20 minutes but it is going to kick my ass. I did read if you have bad knees it might hurt and be hard to do. I have decided to start the new year with the video. I will do my walking till the end of the year to try and get my knees better. They are a lot better then when I started 55 days ago so maybe a couple more weeks will help.

I will have my husband take my measurements before the 30 days then at the end to see if anything happens.Hopefully it will.

Today I did my walking video and it felt so good I did two rounds. I feel good today and I am not sure why. Maybe it was working out in the morning that helped.

Day 53 & 54

So I had a plan to write about how Popeye's is screwing my new lifestyle up. They need to stop giving more then what I order. Then I found this in a magazine I was reading this morning. I thought it fits perfect for weight loss and the fact that the holidays are coming up.

We all have bad days. We all stumble now and then. That's what make us the strong, determined, capable women we are! Lydia Canfield

When I read this I thought about how we are going to have a bad day here and there. One may have not hit it yet but it will happen. We are human and life throws us twist and turns all the time. We learn from them and move on though. It will make us stronger. It will determine us to be better next time and it does give us the capability to move forward!

Did another one of my walking videos.Well today was walking/jogging! I swear the 33 minutes goes by so fast. If my husband hadn't of come home early I would of done another video but I hate working out in front of him. He decided to go behind me well I was doing it and do it to. Then I was laughing. Thank god it was the end of the video.

Day 52

Today has been a so so day. We haven't been shopping for grocery's for a month now. With Chris being gone a week ago we skipped and still had meat when he came home so we didn't worry about it. Well now my fridge is so bare that you would never know three people live here.



This in turn has made my eating choices hard. We are going tomorrow but today it was to the point that I really did not care what I stuck in my mouth.Oh how I long for the drive thru at Wendy's. I love there Spicy Chicken sandwich and I could live on there fries. OK so now that we are all hungry...Sorry about that. Today I tried a new Weight Watchers frozen entree.



It wasn't to bad and I was full. I had bought it yesterday when were at the PX. I knew Chris was going to not be here so I wanted to grab something. I broke down at dinner and had ramen noodles. Not smart. Has anyone ever looked at the serving size? One would think it was the whole brick of noodles. Nope it is half. What the hell is that? I also had a Nutri-Grain apple cinnamon bar with lunch. My choices could be so much better. To top of the night though Rachelle and I are going to watch The Proposal and you better believe that popcorn will be involved. I love that movie. I saw it at the theater 2 days in a row when it came out. Laughed so hard I cried at a couple parts!

Lastly I did my new Leslie Sansone video today. Holy hell my butt hurts. I skimmed it yesterday when I got it. It is something I like to do. I like to see what I am getting into. I thought yesterday when I was watching it that it looked easy. I was wrong. Had some sweat going on. Did a 2 mile in 30 minutes. I have only done one of the workouts on the video but I love it. Her talking all the time drives me nuts but I felt good. I had my daughter right next to me doing it to. She got tired but I was on it. Maybe it was because she wanted weights like I had so she was trying it with 3 lb. weights. She is going to do it with me every day though so hopefully she can work into the weights again.

Day 51

I was thinking yesterday mostly because I have nothing better to do and I realized that I eat when I am watching TV. No clue why but I tend to munch while watching TV just to do something. I think I get bored. So stay with me for a second on this thought I came up with.No laughing please.
This is what you see in the living room when no one is watching TV.


This is what you see when it is open.
Do you see the picture I taped up?

Let me zoom in a little closer.

It is hopefully motivation for me to not eat when i am watching TV. See I am hoping that my eyes will wonder to the picture and that it will remind me that I want to look like her and then I won't go to the kitchen. That is my thought. Hopefully it will work.

Today in the mail I got this..

I can't wait to try it out. I am thinking that I might do this video with my daughter. So that she stays moving to. We are going to start it tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Day 50 - Weigh In

Today was weigh in day again. Sometimes I really hate this day because it seems my weight is always lower everyday but Thursday. I have a habit of weighing myself every morning. It is something I can never not do. I like to know where I am. Not stepping on a scale drives me nuts. It is my drug as some people would call it.

Well I am down again. 1.6 pounds for a total of 12.2. Well I am happy with that because I am down again, there I go again with the almost 2 pounds. I swear one day I will get 2 pounds if it kills me. I am happy with a loss though.

I am 5 pounds away from the lowest that I got during the summer of 2008. I was thinking about posting picks maybe at my 15 pound intervals. Not sure if I can bring myself to post the beginning picture which I had my daughter take.

I looked back and I started this my new lifestyle Oct. 15th. 12.2 pounds does not seem like alot of weight loss to me since then. So I need to look at it as I am 12.2 pounds lighter then Oct. 15 and I am sure with out this I would weigh more. I am only 41.8 pounds until I reach my goal weight. Or what I think should be my goal weight. I have read alot of blogs about people who reach it and decide they want to lose more or get to a weight that is what they realize works for them and my not be there goal weight. I mean there is a 34 pound range that is ideal for my height. I am going somewhere in the middle. I don't want to be a couple pounds into it and I don't want to strive to be at the other end.It may frustrate me. I think somewhere in the middle is just right!

Day 49

Measuring out my food has become something that I do all the time. I know that I should of done it long before because my idea of a serving size was never the idea of a serving size that was on the package. I have attempted to teach my daughter this.

There are endless possibilities of junk food, quick ready meals with enough sodium in them for a week and new cereals that have more sugar then anything else. I told my daughter that she can eat what she likes but in moderation. That is the problem I think with Americans. We are in such a hurry nowadays that we make quick meals with to much fat or hit the drive thru. I don't want her to have eating issues like I did but I want her t be aware of the info on the back of the packages. If I can get her to eat healthy now then I will have a better chance. I now catch her reading serving sizes. She was in shock when she saw some of the sizes. I only hope that it doesn't not turn into anything bad. That I am teaching her the healthy way to do things!

Day 48 - Christmas Weigh In

Today was weigh in for my Christmas challenge. I was alittle nervous considering that my weekly weigh in had me up from my Christmas weigh in. I am proud to report that I have a loss. I am back down from my weigh in on Thursday. I have 2.4 pounds to go for my goal. My goal is my wedding weight. If I could pass it that would make my Christmas so much better.

I have only lost 12.6 pounds so far since I started this but I can see the difference in the mirror which I find odd so early in the game. The only thing I can figure is that I am down 25 pounds total from March 2008. My clothes are fitting better. I feel alittle better when I look in the mirror. It is really pushing me to get this right this time. I long to look in the mirror and love what I see.

Now when I look back to my teenage years I want to laugh. I used to weigh 120. That is what I weighed when I got pregnant. Funny thing is I thought I was fat then. I would love to get down to that weight again but I know that the odds of that is one in a million and I would be setting myself up for disappointment. To keep that weight I did kickboxing, judo & jujitsu 6 times a week. I would also go between not eating & making myself sick. I joked the other night and told my husband it would be a hell of alot easier if I could just eat what I wanted then throw it up. He told me if I ever looked like I did in the pictures he saw when I was doing it before it was over.

I remember when I was in elementary school I was out for a couple days with pink eye. My friends decided to tell the teacher that I was throwing my lunch away and not eating it. I got in trouble by my parents and was watched after that to make sure I was eating.

It is really sad that I had an issue with eating in elementary school. That I had to be watched. I only hope that my daughter does not have these issues. I really wish magazines would be required to put women on the cover without being airbrushed.Maybe woman that look like us. My daughter is always telling me how she wants to look like them. I really think things need to change with how women should be "looked at".