Monday, February 8, 2010

Day 117

I received an award from Becky at In The Trenches. I love the blogs that she writes and her youngest daughter is to cute! I also love the bright color of the award. Made my day!

The rules to this award are as follows....

-put the logo on your blog or with your post
-pass the award onto 12 bloggers
-link them!
-let the nominees know by commenting on their blog
-share the love and link back to the person that gave you this award

So after the last award I gave out most people never picked up I am going to be a bad girl, cheat and give it to any of my followers that wants to snag it!!

Today has been an emotional day for me. Thank god Chris comes home Thursday night. I have found a friend that has her own little ways of putting me down here and there and I already am not feeling that hot about myself as it is. I would really love to just go home back to Colorado but that isn't an option. So instead I will put on a smiling face well inside I feel claustrophobic. I literally feel like I am trapped in my own body finding it hard to breath. I have no clue what is wrong with me. As I type this I feel as though someone has there arms wrapped around my throat. It is so painful and all I want to do is curl up and wait. Wait for the feeling to go away.

I went to the gym today and pushed myself at a very fast walk. I wanted to run but every time I started the treadmill sounded as if it was going to die. So I decided to walk very fast for 30 min. I wasn't changing treadmills because that would of made much sense.

I really want to thank Amy, Dawne and Steve for the comments yesterday. They had some really good points and I need to keep a lot in mind. I am not so sure it is the weight loss I want to give up more so the blog. I really don't know. I am just not me lately and I am really sorry.

"Leave nothing to chance. The difference between the championship and merely good team is often the perfection of minor details." -Coach John Wooden


Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Way to blame the treadmill... I've cursed out every piece of equipment at my gym over the past few months (including that stupid dumbbell!).

Kudos on the nifty award!

Amy said...

Totally ok to just be... I am so sorry that you are not feeling yourself, sweet friend!

Been actually thinking of you this morning, and was wondering how you were feeling.. praying for you this morning that you will have a breakthrough... (((hugs))))


Marcelle said...

Was lovely chatting to you this evening...xx

Tricia said...

Congrats on your award!

Fran said...

I'm so sorry for you you're feeling so depressed. I hope everything will get better once Chris is home. Hang in till Thursday.

dawne said...

Oh honey,
I am almost certain that you are in the middle of cultural transition depression. How long have you been in Germany? Does the Army give you courses on handling cultural transition...the various stages. everything, it's all so cool - Hate everything I loved and let me go home NOW - Acceptance and Settling - yeah, I can live here. Life is fine. Then, the going home part...also very hard, but let's wait to get there.

Keep writing! Don't apologize and don't give into won't help. I am living proof of that. You WILL get through this and remember it as the best and worst of times all rolled up in one.

Come on Chris...a little faster! Enjoy having him home.

Lacey said...

I'm sorry you're feeling down... it was awesome talking to you yesterday!