Am I Setting Myself Up For Failure Again??

Hope everyone had a great Monday or I should say having a great Monday. As I write this it is already 11pm my time so my Monday is about over for me. I hope that I can stay on top of this blogging and get back into a routine. I sure do miss reading tips and ideas and seeing I am not the only one that is human.

Well I have been MIA from blogland I have moved and settled into a new home and new job. Kindergarten really does make a person tired. Still not used to coming home and wanting to go right to bed. Actually getting to take my lunch is proving interesting. Sneaking away from these little kiddos is hard most of the time.

As for weight I have lost though I am not where I want to be. I will enjoy that the scale is moving down especially with all the holidays. Went to the gym on Thanksgiving & did a class that I burned 649 calories. With the snow falling Zumba has been canceled for Monday night for the last month. It is driving me nuts. I have been going with my neighbor on dog walks every night in snow and rain and wind. Yes I am the idiot walking with my neighbor in weather that is so bad it shuts down a military post and I have no dog leash in my hand. I am sure people wonder what I am thinking..lol

The title of the post is simple. It has to do with my goal on what I want to be starting out the year 2011. I need to lose 2.4 pounds to hit a mini goal. I would like to start 2011 out in a new set of numbers. Well this may not seem like a hard goal for some I have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners ahead of me as well as New Years Eve dinner and of course many drinks. Maybe this isn't the smartest idea I have had.

Well I am off to bed in hopes I can get to Zumba in the morning!!!

I am still alive....

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive and kicking. Been really busy with the holidays and getting the internet moved took over a month. I will be back to blogging soon as I am off two weeks from work. Thanks to everyone that checked up on me through email, facebook or daily mile. Can't wait to get back to this as this is something I need. I need to be with friends that understand what I am going through.. I will be writing a blog before 2010 is over. Be back soon!

Last post for awhile...

This is my last post until the internet is turned on again from the move. We got the keys today and I started taking some stuff today before the movers get here tomorrow. My husband will stay with the movers so that I can go to Zumba!! I also am going to try and Zumba it up this weekend!!

My weigh in for this week has me down 2.3 pounds! I am looking at the side bar and seeing that I need to change my goal weight. I will wait until I get there first before I change it. My husband is afraid now that I will never be happy at the weight I am at when I told him I will need to lose more. This may be a never ending cycle.

Well hate to make this short but I need to take some cleaning products to the house so I can start cleaning!! Will be back sometime in 7-10 working days..lol

A year came and went....

I can't believe how going away for a four day has me so behind on blogging. I spent the last two days trying to catch up on them instead of writing my own blog. I have so much going on I can't sleep or think.

Ever had so much going on your head just doesn't shut down..at all?

That's how I am feeling. I have so much to say I am not sure where to begin. First of all my year of blogging and having a healthier new lifestyle came and went and I am not sure where I was. October 15, 2009 was when I decided to I was done with avoiding mirrors. I was done telling my daughter about being healthy but doing the opposite. I was done being miserable and to be very honest I was done having my weight get in the way of the relationships I wasn't having with my husband & friends.





I am so glad that I made the choice not to wait any longer to make changes but to be honest I am upset with the amount of weight I didn't lose. I should of been able to lose it all since I didn't have a very large amount to lose. I am very disappointed with myself. I thought losing weight in a foreign country would be easier. Clearly it isn't for me. Germany's baked goods are to yummy to pass up!!!

I still need to lose 11 pounds to hit my goal but then I think I need to reevaluate & I think I am going for another 10-15 after that. We will see.

I am starting a new job Nov. 1 and I am so excited. I am going to be working as a aid for kindergarten. Lots of moving around with this job! The teacher I will be working under has some health issues so I was told I would be doing most of the interacting with the kids. That means I need to go shopping to get new clothes but not to nice because we know how little kids spill everything.

The first weekend of Nov. my friend and I are going to another town to a Zumba workshop!! We heard we want to burn calories this is the place where we will. It will be a nice weekend getaway with no kids or husbands!

This Friday we move into the "big house"..lol I can't wait. 4 flights of stairs & dog walks here I come!! On that note here in Germany it take 7-10 days to transfer the internet and phone so I will not be writing or reading blogs unless I can pull of someone's internet. Everything is getting turned off Thursday after work.

Hopefully I will get everything settled and what not & as soon as the internet gets turned back on I will be good to go.

Off to Berlin

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am off to Berlin today and will not be able to read blogs until Tuesday.. Will have a lot to catch up on. I went grocery shopping with my friend so I have my breakfast & lunches. Dinners we will all go out. Hopefully we will do lots of walking & she is taking her dog so I will go on dog walks with her as well. Marcelle has my weight from Thursday so hopefully I can maintain or even lose by the time I get back!!! Hope everyone has a great weekend. I have so much to share when I get back.

Off to the gym then on the road we go!

Day 339-345

Lately I have sucked at blogging and getting around to reading. I am busy getting ready to move. I need to paint the garage (tomorrow) & start boxing up things that transportation won't move or things I don't want them touching. Like my stuff from Turkiye or my beer steins. It's funny when you have someone moving you how much more you end up packing yourself anyways. I will try and get better once things settle down again.

As for exercise I did Zumba yesterday and tonight! It was great. I plan on going to Zumba Thursday afternoon as I have the day off. Wanted to go the gym after work tomorrow but I need to get to CYS to fill out paperwork & set up transferring internet & phone when we move. Maybe I will dance well I paint!!

Tonight I tried on my daughters skirt to her Halloween costume. It fit!! Needless to say she isn't happy with me. Maybe dancing through the house wasn't the smartest idea but I was so happy that for once I couldn't control myself. I am thinking about wearing it us adults have a Halloween party!

I have also personally decided that I think I am going to change my weight goal. Right now I only need to lose 12.3 more pounds to get to my goal weight that I set for myself but I really don't think 12 pounds is going to be enough. I am thinking I will be trying to lose another 13 more for a total of 25 more pounds. I really need to work on my arms & stomach.

I need your ideas for breakfast please. I am eating yogurt, blueberries, oats & a organic mix but I am starving when I am at work. The feeling you get when you haven't eaten all day is how I feel and I am lost as to why when I am eating. Any help would be great!!!

I will be sharing some exciting news in the future!!

Just wanted to share a photo I edited.

Day 332-338

Not sure if anyone else feels this way but my husband has agreed with me. Every time I make plans for me, mostly when I comes to long term goals over a week life always happens. I wanted to do Sly's challenge of doing at least 25 min. a week of exercise but then I was on the road all day helping friends get adjusted to Germany. I really have to start putting myself first if I plan to stick to this lifestyle for the rest of my life. I mean life always happens. I need to figure out how to fit everything out and I will. I have come further then I ever had so I just need to keep figuring it out some more & I will.

Friday I when I was going to work I got a compliment!!! Someone that does Zumba with me didn't recognize me from behind when I was leaving daycare with a friend. Until I turned around did she realize who I was. Made working on a Friday with the sun out so worth it. She just couldn't get over how much smaller I looked from behind!! Need to keep pushing myself!

Some more great news that I have is we are moving!!!!!To a BIG HOUSE!!!! Well compared to where we live now. It is four levels so that means stairs!! You have no clue how happy I am to have stairs. The washer and dryer are in the basement and my daughters room is on the very top floor. Guaranteed floor climbing everyday!!! I am also moving next to my best friend Angie. The health nut that I go to the gym with all the time and is in all the pics with me. So that means dog walks even in the winter when I find it the hardest to get moving. I am sure the fresh air will be great to. Everything is falling into place. We move next month as we had to give a 30 day notice to the landlord. Will post pics when we are in there.

Life is great!!!!

Day 326-Day 331

OK so out plan of hitting Fitness Day and burning 3,000 calories did not happen. After we looked at the schedule we realized that we would need to burn 500+ calories per class and the classes were only 30 minutes long. So we decided to put our goal to 2,000. After awhile we realized that these classes we more to show you what they offered then what we wanted. To burn calories.


I ended at 1,592 and had I realized this when I turned off my watch I would of ran to the car to hit 1,600. Either way I am happy with the calories burned on a Saturday considering the night before I had 3 glasses of different wine. I am really happy with the person I am becoming. That and I love having a workout partner that is so dedicated to the gym no matter what day it is.

I thought I would post a new picture now that I am down 40 pounds. Then I decided to make a collage. I thought this might help me with seeing how far I have come. I still have a long way to go. I think I have decided to try and lose another 25 pounds. Right now I have two goals. One to hit by Oct. 15 which is my year long anniversary and one to hit by Dec. 31. I have to have a goal to end 2010 with. (P.S. The last pic. is in my new size 12 jeans)




Seems like every weekend is full of game nights and drinking and snacks. Might have to figure out how to get through the nights well still having fun! Any suggestions. We do put out fruit to snack on which helps I think.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I am off to catch up on blogs!

Day 325

This is going to be a short post but wanted to let everyone know what is going on. Was able to do Zumba last night and that made me so happy. As for getting to the gym the rest of the week I don't see it and it upsets me but I always have put other people ahead of me and I am doing it once again.

Today I had to pick up my friends and bring them back to our post (they are on a different one at a hotel until next week) to bring them to get paper work for school, we also had open house and I ran them to the PX to get shoes.

Tomorrow right after work I have to pick them up again, get them in the system for their ID's and get bekah registered in school & any other misc. things that need to be done.

I know I have more running around as we are trying to get a new place to live and I have to have letters done and signed off on. Seems like everything is a mess again.

Once they get settled I can work on me again. On a good note though they are having a fitness day at the gym Saturday with all classes running all day. My friend and I are going and guess her goal for calorie burn...


3,000..... Yup she told me tonight we aren't leaving the gym until we burn at least 3,000 calories Saturday. This should be interesting.

Day 323-324

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was busy as always. That is the way I like it though because I know once the snow is starts falling life will slow down again as I hate driving in the snow.

Tonight I am going to Zumba finally and I am so happy. I was starting to have withdrawals. The dang Army sometimes drives me nuts when they decide we can have class. Totally messing with my flow.



I promised that I would share NSV when I wrote again. Our friends from Colorado finally arrived in Germany Friday night. They are stationed at the same post we are so that is going to be great! Anyways they noticed that I had lost weight! You have no idea what it is like to finally get a complement. No one here knows me and the ones I know see me all the time so seeing a weight change never happens. Dave & Sarah are the first of our old friends to see us so they saw the change.

My second NSV is I bought a new pair of pants in a new size. I didn't try them on in the store. I bought and decided I would get in to them if it was the last thing on earth by next month. Well they fit!!! Size 12. I was never a single digit number in pants so going below a 10 I really don't see happening. I am Latino. We are good sized girls. The fact that last winter I was wearing a size 18 & this winter I may even be able to get down to a size 10 makes me happy. Hell seeing a size 12 had me jumping for joy!! I need to also buy more work out clothes as I hate trying to run and hold my pants up.



I am finally realizing that this is happening and I am getting smaller. That I am finally getting the weight off and keeping it off. This is the furthest I have ever made it in this journey. I have a month and a couple days and it will be a year. Granted I am not where I want to be but I feel like since I have failed this journey so many times that this slow weight loss is helping me learn to maintain and not gain.

I realize that I am more fit then I have been in a very long time. I am running longer then a couple minutes at a time. I am exercising more and saying more to foods that I know really aren't that beneficial to my body. Now I am just waiting for the Clean Eating books from the library.

Day 321-322

Wanted to write a quick update as my hubby is still in bed. Just realized that I will be hitting my year on this blog next month & like Dawne my count is off. Except mine is way off. I know mine is probably because I didn't write everyday and counted wrong. I will figure it out and just start with the right day next time I write.

Last night we went out for Italian with our friends and OMG the place give portions that are way to big. I could of shared my meal with Rachelle and even Chris didn't eat all of his. Next time we go back I will be splitting a meal.

Our friends from Colorado just arrived last night. They will be stationed with us at Graf. Means more dinners out and party's. Thats how we roll. Guess I will be practicing moderation some more.

Off to Nurmberg fest tonight for the beer tent. It's couples night so we can let lose and dance on the benches. Really considering wearing my HRM to see how many calories I burn in the tent dancing.

Have some NSV but I will talk about them in the next post. Off to eat breakfast then to my friends house to talk about our husbands & have coffee!

Have a great weekend. Won't likely be on until Monday as this weekend seems busy.

Day 318-320

Today is weigh in day. I can't really honestly say that I dread the to much considering that I weigh myself once or more a day. There really is no surprise when you are on the thing everyday. Today my weigh in only had me down an ounce from last week. Well I am not happy with that I am happy that I did not have a gain with all the eating I was doing well I watched my marriage fall apart. I am also 4 days out till TOM and I always gain. Somewhere between 2-4 pounds. So I will take that 1 ounce loss and be happy!!

I joined Sly's Challenges that she is having. Both of them. To do some sort of physical activity for at least 20 min. a day & The 30 Day Shred. Well I am 9/9 on the 20 min. I am only 4/9 on The Shred. This upsets me that I have let life affect my goals. I am not going to stop and if it kills me I will try my hardest to get 30/30 by the end of the month. Clearly this means that I will be doing the Shred more then once a day until I get caught up. I know Sly never intended for her challenge to be this way but I hope she will be proud if I can pull it off. This is something I need to do for me.

I sat in the sauna today after my workout. I haven't been in there in a while and I miss it. I miss the heat and relaxing. I think I will have to make it in there at least 3 times a week.

Last night I went for my first massage since I have been in Germany. I hour full body massage...by a man. This was a first also. My friend swears by him that he can work miracles with pain. She was so right. I will be going back at least once a month. I have to make sure and put money aside for this as I pay in euro so it cost a little more. It is so worth it though.

I am also thinking about hitting up the tanning bed a couple times a week. I know they are bad for you but with lack of sun I need to do something to keep myself happy. I am very into natural light. First thing I do every morning is open the blinds before anything else. I need & crave the sun. Germany is not the place to live when lack of sun affects your mood. I am going to go into this fall/winter better prepared then last!

Day 314-317

As much as this is a weight loss blog I thought I would let everyone know what is going on in my life. Everything is falling between the cracks in my life. My marriage almost ended last night. I am going to take a break from blogging. I am not quitting & I hope that you won't take me off of your blog roll. Right now though my marriage is much more important then blogging or being on the internet 24/7. I was so excited to get back into it but when I saw my marriage pretty much end last night I knew things needed to be changed. It can not ever get like that again because next time I don't think a second chance will be there.

I will continue to diet & exercise. I will still use daily mile to keep track and spark people. When I do find time I will comment and/or blog. It's just right now by the time I exercise in the morning, go to work, go to the gym after work, help with homework & make dinner my husband is home and we need to spend time together.

Hope everyone understands. My family needs me right now & I need to help fix it before I know longer have one.

Day 313

I woke up this morning and my foot really wasn't hurting. Not like it had been. Went on my morning run & then came home & did the 30 Day Shred. Was feeling fine but at work it started throbbing and now I am in pain again. I did push myself through the 30 Day Shred again after work though. I can't start with excuses about not being able to do it or the month will go by & I will wish I JUST DID IT!

I guess I will be calling the doctor next Tuesday to make an appt. Anyone that knows me knows that I hate going to the doctor and if there is any sign I am better then I won't. We have a 4 day training holiday so they are closed until Tues.

I really wanted to hit the gym this afternoon but I had an appt. after work so I wasn't able to. Tomorrow I plan on leaving work early to go out of town. Unfortanly that means the only exercise I will be getting is from my morning run (if it's warm enough) & the 30 Day Shred. Better then nothing I guess.

Plans for this weekend include

Friday~ Regensburg Fest
Saturday~ Girls Night @ Nuremberg Fest
Sunday~ Game Night

So pretty much there will be drinking & fest food. Not sure what the plans are for Monday yet. Tonight we went out for Greek. This restaurant is the only place I let my guard down. We haven't been there since the end of May and I have been craving it. This was my dinner tonight.

My hubby & I split the wine leaves so we each get one & a half.


Here all I eat is the lamb. I don't touch the rice.


It's hard living in Germany. You want to enjoy trying things because you know you won't be here long but you also have to remember not to go over bored.

I will end with my measurements that I had my husband take last night.

Stomach~39
Arms~13
Thigh~24
Bust~38 1/2

As for weight I have never shared that and I am not going to. I do weigh in weekly with Marcelle though so we are keeping track with the weight!

Day 312

I have joined both of Syl's Challenges this month. 30 Day Shred for 30 days and 20 minutes or more daily activity. I am planning on getting so elective surgery in December and I want to lose at least 15 pounds by winter break.

Right now as I am writing this I have the heating pad on my foot. For over a week I have complained about my right foot throbbing in pain. It is only getting worse with everyday and I keep ignoring it. Needless to say I am calling the doctor tomorrow. I am limping everywhere and it throbs so much it is keeping me awake at night.

This morning I got up ran so I was able to get the 20 minutes in. My foot hurt so bad and I tried to ignore it with every step. At work I stand on my foot 4 hours with no break so that isn't helping. My husband said to not doing anything on it tonight. Tomorrow I will do the video twice to make up for today. Once in the morning & once after work. I might see if I can get something to wrap it with.

Tonight before bed I will have my husband do my measurements. It really takes a lot for me to allow him to do that. After seeing the picutres I am disgusted with the way I look. Now I know why I made sure to stay behind the camera 40 pounds ago. Yuck.

Day 300-311

Sorry I have been MIA again. Just when I was getting back into blogging life happened. Blogging is important but not on my list of things that has to be done. Everything around me is falling apart and unless you are married into the military or have a spouse that works from 530am - at least 7 pm & pulls 24 hour duty on weekends then you really have no clue the stress that I am going through. I don't mean to come across rude or not claim that you don't have stress because everyone does it is just that with the Army you have to do what they want & they are not about family like they claim.

I am so stressed that I have an upset stomach 24/7. I can't sleep & all I want to do is eat. I know that eating is not going to solve anything yet I do it. I am back to being overweight again. Yup an endless cycle and I swear I sometimes want to just give up. Today I decided to eat an entire bag of these M&M's & after I ate them not only did I still have the problems but now I had the guilt of eating an entire bag of M&M's.



I am starting a new workout plan & hopefully it will work.

Monday~Zumba
Tuesday~Cardio,Arms & Abs
Wednesday~Cardio,Legs & Abs
Thursday~Cardio,Arms & Abs
Friday~Cardio,Legs & Abs
Saturday~Zumba or Cardio & Abs

So far I am 2 for 2. Today I almost talked myself out of staying to do weights. I get off of work at 2 & went straight to the gym. The guys start coming into the gym around 2:30 & later to do PT. Which means I have to share with the guys & I am really uncomfortable doing that. I did about 15 minutes then I decided to just end with half mile run around the track.

Tonight I made sweet potatoes. Marcelle's way. Then I topped them with the turkey chili I made yesterday & a little bit of Weight Watchers Shredded Cheese.






On one last note my daughter started 5th grade yesterday. Which means this is her last year in elementary school & next year starts middle school. I am not sure I am ready for that. Time really does go fast when you aren't paying attention. This makes me want another kid.

Day 293-299 I AM FINALLY NORMAL

I have been so busy that I have had no time to write blogs. I have hardly had the time to comment but for some reason I feel that I should comment on blogs before I write my own. So if you do get comments but I am not writing a blog it is because I am short on time but feel it is more important to read your blogs then write my own.

Anyways on to the news. I have added workouts to do past Zumba. Now when I finish Zumba I do some more cardio as I am finding I need to burn a lot more calories. I am trying for at least 600 a day. I know once I start working again next week I won't be able to do Zumba except for Monday nights so I have been messing with the machines to see what I like. I have also added weights as I am seeing more lose skin hang & it is nasty.

I can say that I am starting to see a difference. Finally starting to see a difference. Of course I see a picture of myself and it all goes away. Not digging the pictures still.

Today was weigh in day and I lost. 3 weeks in a row I have lost weight. 2.1 pounds. How the heck I have lost over 1 pound 3 weeks in a row is beyond me. I guess counting calories & changing up my workout at the gym is what I needed.

I only have 13 more pounds to go to get to my goal weight. A weight I think I might have to change. I really don't see 13 pounds being enough now that I am a lot closer to it then I thought. Either way I am finally NORMAL!! My bmi is in the normal spot. I am finally healthy. I have moved from obese to healthy! One thing I do find interesting is that all bmi charts are different. One says I can go as low as 125 and another says 130 for my height of 5'9. Either way I think those weights are unrealistic for me to maintain. I have lost 40 pounds so I will update a picture sometime this weekend.

Well off to clean the house. School and work start soon and I need to get caught up on cleaning and what not. We are down to one car still so I am taking my husband to and from work and running errands and the gym. Needless to say the house isn't up to my standards.

Day 290-292

I haven't been this tired in a long time. I have stayed up until 1am the last 3 mornings watching Desperate Housewives (I have never watched it) & then going to do Zumba. This morning I had to get up at 5:45 to take my husband to work. His car is in the shop. I hate taking naps during the day and I haven't but I am finding that I am not able to sleep at night again. My brain won't turn off. It is getting annoying. I just want to sleep but all I can do is think. I have never taken any kind of a sleeping pill but I am considering it big time.



Now on to the exciting stuff. Today is my weigh in day. Here is how it is looking. I lost 1.3 pounds. So far I have lost 38.5 pounds & I have 15.5 more to go. Looking at myself though I do feel I might need to lose more then 15. I guess I will see when I get there I now have 1.5 pounds to lose before I am considered normal & no longer overweight.



I joined Weight Watchers back in 2008 to lose weight for my "big wedding". I still have my old book & like to look to see what I have lost total even though I have gone back & fourth with the dieting since then. Well as of today I have lost 50.5 pounds. Sad part, when I look in the mirror I don't see a change of that much. Granted it has been over some years but still.



Well that is all for today. I am so tired & I need to keep moving so I don't fall asleep & become more off schedule.




(Pictures from today are from Turkiye. I am still editing them.)

Day 287-289

This weekend was so so on eating. I either eat nothing or everything. Last night we to the movies and I did have some popcorn. Changes I did make compared to the old me was I got a water instead of soda and added nothing to the popcorn. I am not big on it being soaked in butter but I always had them add just a little. Not anymore.

Today was an off day and I am not sure why. My breakfast was coffee. 50 whole calories. Lunch came in at 480. Snacks at 410. That left me with 490-840 for dinner. I made homemade chili with turkey. No clue really how to figure out the calories on that but I am sure that I ended fine.



I did go back to the Sparkpeople page and edit my goals to include the weight I wanted to be at and by what time( I had joined this site about 4 months ago but never used it). Anyways when I went & changed that and my workout goals it upped my calories to 1430-1780 a day. Guess we will see how that goes with the scale. I am finding it a little nicer not to have to worry about staying under 1550. We are always eating out or doing stuff and trying to stay at 1550 was getting interesting. I haven't hit 1780 but knowing it is there if need be is nice. I will give this a month to see what happens. If the scale doesn't move then I will drop calories myself back to 1550.



Tonight I went to Zumba and burned 525 calories. This weekend we are house sitting and I will be next door to my best friend who also walks her dog 3 times a day so I will be going with her!! Hopefully it will be warm. I am dying to jump on the trampoline.



Pictures are from vacation. I am still editing them. Boy can you waste an entire day sitting on your butt doing this.. So not good.

Day 286

It's finally Friday & of course it is cold & has rained all day and still is. Really if Germany could just work with me and my long for summer a little longer that would be great. I am losing my tan from Turkiye and it is upsetting me. That tan sure did cost me a lot of money..lol

Anyways I got on the scale this morning and was sure I would see a gain. Mainly because when I have a loss like that the next day isn't that great. Well I lost another 2 ounces! Well that is nothing it make me happy! Maybe I am giving counting calories my all because this is something new or maybe becasue I know I have to send Marcelle a photo every week. Either way I am not complaining.



Breakfast~banana with peanut butter 249 calories
Lunch was Popeyes~470 calories (not the best choice but I had NSV well there)
Dinner~ Thai food (restaurant)
Snack~Wheat bread & peanut butter 185 calories

Today I skipped Zumba so my friend could go. They canceled on site daycare & I know how bad she wanted to go. So I offered to babysit well she went. I played hide & seek to include all 3 levels of the house & had to carry the 3 year old up & down each time. I say I got a good work out just doing that.



Hopefully going to Zumba tomorrow morning! Then not sure what the weekend plans are.