Day 16

It took alot for me to workout today. I am freezing cold and I just want to stay bundled up. I hate this weather. With a passion I might add. I am sick of workout videos but that is all I have. That or the cold outside. I have to my husband that I need to buy a yoga mat. We have cement right under the floors I think and it is cold and hard. So hard that you won't find me on the floor. I don't know if the Germans believe in carpet but in this apartment they don't.

My motivation I have come to realize to work out though is you guys. I read the blogs and how you have so much more going on in your lives and that is what motivates me to put in that dreaded DVD day after day. Depending on the weather tomorrow I might brace the outside elements with my daughter. Oh how I wish there was a gym close by.

Today was a good day. I sent my daughter off to school then went back to bed till 11 with my husband. He didn't get off work and home till 3 this morning. I then read blogs and had a turkey sandwich with 1 cup of Progresso 80 cal. beef soup. Dinner was Chicken Fajita soup which pretty much was low in calories. I have been craving sweets and broke down on a diet soda and pop tart. I know not the best choice but I had room to have it and I enjoyed little small bites to make it last.

That is my goal. Eat what I want but in moderation. The last thing in a lifestyle that I want it a cart for me and one for my husband.

By the way I did do my workout!!!

Hope everyone has a great and smart/safe weekend!!

Day 15 Weigh In

I will be honest. The last thing that I wanted to do today was step on the scale. If it wasn't for you guys reading this I might of just skipped. This blog is more help then you will ever know. It is giving me the pressure to do better because I feel you guys deserve the best from me. So thank you so much. You may be over the ocean but you are the support system I need right now!

This week I only lost 1.9lbs but that is definitely more then I thought that I would! I know I say ONLY and some people would be happy with that but I am not. I know I can do better. I think that I need to look at it as a good weight loss considering the fact that my activity level is way down. As I look back at what I ate this week it is portions and always have been. I need to eat less of certain foods and feel up on fruits and veggies. I am trying and have been eating more veggies since I have met my husband then I think I ever have.

Kari gave me great advice to look at hungrygirl.com. Loved the site and can't wait to read more about it. Thank you Kari!!

On another note I came across a ebook http://www.fast-5.com/Fast-5-ebook100.pdf that you fast for 19 hours at a time and you eat from 5pm to 10pm. It goes into detail about why this is OK for your body and what it teaches your body. I am wondering if I should try it. I talked it over with Lacey last night and she said it wasn't good for your body and such even though about 2 min later she admitted she only eats dinner.This is also coming from a girl that wears a size1 or 2 I am thinking.. You know I still love you though. We are related and in so many ways the same except she is blessed with being skinny and living in sunny AZ. So my question is what do you think about 19 hour fasting everyday and only eating from 5-10. I read most of it last night online. From what I gather this is a permanent way of eating. Sure would help the grocery bill!

I ate better today and did my workout video. I am just so happy to be in the 40 somethings still needed to lose!!!

Hope everyone has/had a great day! Thanks again for the support!!

Day 14

Its one of those days. I have cramps that are killing me and all I want to do is munch.I don't even want to get on the scale tomorrow. This time of the month usually comes with a 5 pound gain. Aren't I the lucky one.

I did exercise today even though it hurt. Breakfast was cereal. Lunch was a sandwich and 80 calories worth of soup. Dinner was leftovers but made a little different. I have had water and green tea for my drinks today but for snack I had gluten free ginger snaps and after dinner I ate 3 Oreo's.Does it help they are reduced fat? I haven't had any since elem. school. I hate chocolate except once a month.

My husband is going to be gone off and on till Thanksgiving which pretty much makes me want to give up. I hate when he is away even worse since we are in Germany.

I will be happy with any kind of lose but right know I am seriously doubting it.

Day 13

It is so hard to stay at home with the refrigerator daunting me like a bully. I wish I had a job or something to do to keep my mind off of food. I have figured out when I am bored is when I eat. It gives me something to do. That is the one thing I have to work on. Finding other things to do when I get bored. Today I decided to sweep & mop. What am I going to do tomorrow though? Sweep and mop again? I hardly see that one.

Movies are also hard for me. Whenever we would go to the movies we always get popcorn. There is something about the smell of movie theater popcorn that even when I am on a diet I have to have it. I get it with little butter or no butter. I hate the amount of butter they put on there but oh the smell. I can never say no. Well now my husband and I make popcorn when we watch a movie at home. It is a habit. One I need to break. We don't watch a movie every night so that is good but my mom just sent me The Proposal so I had to make popcorn to go with it!My husband found this popcorn and it is the closet I can find to the theater.
I do have the 100 calorie Jolly Time or whatever it is called kettle corn. Not a big fan but that is all the have at the store in 100 calorie. That of course is for when I am home alone and need a fast snack!


Today I worked out but I also feel like I ate heavier then I should of. I am putting a can of soup out for lunch tomorrow! God knows if I want the weigh in to be good I need something light. Lunch was my leftover pizza and dinner was wet burritos.

My question is what do you do when your husband can eat whatever whenever? How do you make your dinner work for you. Making something else won't work. I refuse to do it. I have a thing about dirty dishes. Tonight I am not sure how I could of made it work better except now that I am typing this I am thinking I should of cut it in half. Why do I always think of things after the fact. Any suggestions would be great!

Day 10, 11 & 12

I really am trying to stay on top of my exercising but I am having chest pains that hurt even when I left up my arms. I don't know what has happened. I have had these pains on and off for a month or so know. It has moved from the left to more of the center of the chest. I did not work out on the weekend and I think I am going to take the weekends off or at least if I don't work out I won't let it eat at me. It's the only time I really get to spend with my husband and I refuse to work out in front of him.

We went to the PX on Saturday and I made sure to eat before we went since I just had it last weekend. That and my husband wanted to make fried catfish for us so I wanted to make smart eating choices the rest of the day. He's never made it for me but grew up on it. I couldn't tell him no.

Last night he made steak. That's all we had. No potato with it which was hard but I managed.

Tonight I made homemade pizza. Well I used Pillsbury pizza crust but it was the first time I have ever done this. I topped it with German pesto, spinach leaves, chicken, fresh garlic, mushrooms, onion, tomatoes, red pepper, a red chile and feta cheese.



The chicken was done. I boil it so to add no extra calories. This was dinner and very filling it was. I am having left overs for lunch.I hid the spinach under everything so my daughter never saw it. She informed me when she saw the bag on the counter she doesn't eat leaves..lol



I did work out today. I did the entire video to. Had to take it slow in some spots because my chest hurt but I kept moving was very happy when I realized I wasn't as tired doing it as I was last week!

Hope everyone had a great & choice smart weekend!!

Day 9

Today has been a so so day. I couldn't fall asleep last night and was up until 2am. Up again with my husband and 450am then again at 630am with my daughter then I went back to bed till 11. I hate sleeping that late but I was tired. My mornings are like that everyday and most nights I toss and turn until midnight. I go to bed with my husband but just watch the clock. Last night he was in bed at 930. I wasn't even going to try.

Anyways I did my workout video today and I had a turkey sandwich for lunch. My snacks today where an apple and 5 gluten free ginger snaps. Dinner was bean burritos with left over guac. and salsa. I had two of them on fajita size torts with a total of 3/4 cup of beans, 1 tablespoon of shredded cheese and 1/4 cup of gauc.

As I look at what I eat I wonder if this is why I have a headache. Did I cut my calories down a little to much? Or is it the lack of soda?

Anyways you guys have brought up ideas about joining stuff to keep busy. As great as an idea as that is we are to far from base. We weren't allowed to live on base because we only have one kid and there was no housing for 3 people. So we live in another town. A all speaking, I can not read any signs German town. So joining stuff is a no.

Hope this weekend goes good. We are going to a friends house tomorrow night for game night & I will be armed with my crystal light! Tomorrow is also grocery shopping and my daughter and I are getting are hair trimmed. Should be a busy day. Hopefully I can sleep.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and makes smart choices!!!

Day 8 Weigh In

OK so when I woke up this morning it was weigh in day. Its the day that I love and hate. Love when the scale goes down and hate when it goes up or doesn't move. I wasn't to excited this morning because I know from when I did this a previous time for the wedding that I have not given it my all. So I sucked it up and went in the bathroom and weighed myself. Looked at the number, moved the scale to another place in the bathroom just in case the floor was off and stepped on it again. Well I am happy to report that I lost -3.3 pounds. Wish it was a little more but I will take it. I think this morning was the first time I have felt motivated and smiled while I was in the shower!

Breakfast was a banana and crystal light

Lunch was Subway (we went to the PX for lunch). 6 inch turkey on wheat with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, olives, mustard, pepper and light on the oil, vinegar & light mayo. I had diet coke and baked chips. Not the best chips. Ate some with my sandwich and some at home.

Dinner was chicken fajitas. I made homemade gauc and had 1/3 cup of it. I also made homemade salsa. Cheese was a tablespoon. Since I knew one fajita wasn't going to fill me up I had one with the tortilla and then the second one minus the tort. I would of loved to have it with the tort but I am not going to wast my calories on store bought torts.

We have been gone all day so since it is going on 7 pm I am going to do my Billy Blanks power workout. It' a fast work out but you push yourself. If I am hungry later it will either be an apple or 100 calorie popcorn.

Day 7

I did some thinking last night and wanted to try and figure out when I started this journey. I got to my highest weight when I quit my job, moved and waited for my husband to come home from Iraq. I think it was leaving my job that was the hardest for me. My husband and I decided that there was no reason for me to work 50 hours a week anymore once he was home. I was only working that long because I was a single mother but now I had his help. Well I quit and felt worthless. I started gaining weight because I did nothing.

We were planning a big wedding in July 2008. We did the fast court house wedding in 2006 but he wanted to give me the wedding every girl wants. I stepped on the scale and almost died. March 2008 I decided I needed to bust ass so I could lose weight. For the wedding I managed to lose 28.2 pounds! From March to July I busted ass and went to the YMCA 5 mornings a week and also 2 times a week at night. Now I have no gym.So my new goal is 54 pounds to lose. My birthday is in March and I would be happy with a 20 pound lose by then. I want steady weight coming off. The last thing I need is alot of lose hanging skin after I hit my goal weight.


The bad news is of the 28.2 pounds I lost I have gained back 17 pounds. That sucks but I guess that I can look at it as since July 2008 to now that is all that I gained back. Also I can look at it as I need to lose 17 more pounds AGAIN.... The stress of weight gain is worse then any roller coaster I have ever ridden.


I have realized that it might be alittle harder since I don't have a job or kids at home. It is hard to keep yourself moving when you have the house to yourself everyday. You can clean so much but with most of our stuff in storage in the states clutter is not a problem. So on with my new journey in weight loss.

Breakfast today was Apples & Cinnamon oatmeal with crystal light.
Lunch was turkey sandwich with, mustard, 1 slice low fat cheese and 2 strips bacon
Dinner was leftovers from last night. I only did my 1/2 cup of rice again!
Snack was 100 calorie popcorn



I also worked out. It hurt & didn't help that I babysat from 5:45 this morning till after 6. So by the time I had dinner, helped my daughter with her homework I could of easily skipped it. I am still sore as hell but I thought no I didn't do anything Sunday because of the accident and I skipped yesterday because I couldn't move so I did it. I did my video which my daughter got a kick out all the moans that came with it. One more reason to work out well she is at school.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I am alittle nervous. I don't feel like I gave it my all. I guess we will see.

Update ...its 945 and i just had an apple. I have the munchies for some reason.

Day 6 ~Tuesday

What a great day!

For lunch I had 1 cup of refried beans, 1 tablespoon of shredded cheese, hot sauce and one small tortilla.

For dinner I made rice and mixed it with bean sprouts, red pepper, zucchini, onion, garlic and shrimp. I sauteed all the veggies in alittle olive oil and a tablespoon of light soy sauce. I only allowed myself 1/2 cup of rice and all the veggies I wanted. Its was funny to look at my plate because about 4 years ago this was something I would of never eaten. My daughter loved it which made it all better.

I also wanted to workout today but I am so sore it takes alot to move so I am going to stretch later tonight and be ready for a great workout tomorrow. I feel really bad for not working out. I mean just because I am sore why does that mean I can skip a day. Maybe I shouldn't skip but I also find it hard to move. You would think that I got hit by a car and not my husband. Guess the video might do some good!! It does say they recommend that you do this 4-5 times a week and I started yesterday so I am good still right? I am thinking that my weigh in might not be so good. Haven't had breakfast in awhile but I am just not hungry. I know that this is part of weight loss. You need to eat breakfast. I will try again tomorrow morning. Hopefully this on going head ache that I have had for a couple days will go away. Really puts a damper in my day. I think that I am becoming immune to pills. A better day tomorrow. I promise myself!

Day 5 ~ Monday

OK so I am behind on writing for yesterday. My husband came home with a different attitude. Maybe he hit his head to but he wanted to have a family night so we did.



Back to my eating. I had left overs for lunch. 4oz of spaghetti wheat thin & 3 tablespoons of sauce. For dinner I made hamburgers. Made sure to measure mine out. I added garlic powder, Frank's hot sauce and Tony Chachere's Seasoning. One piece of 2% low fat cheese. I had 1/2 cup of baked beans. All I drank was water yesterday.

I did do a workout video. It kicked my ass. I am so sore today I can almost not move. How sad is that. Or how GREAT is that!!!! I am sore finally. After walking and more walking just when you think you are in shape you do a video and it kicks your ass! I guess it was time to change up the workout!

day 3 & 4

I have decided to just number each day for my title. It will be so much easier because I hate having to come up with titles.Having 3 blogs is pushing it in the title area to. On weekends I will only post on Sunday for Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday was good. I had a turkey sandwich with 1/2 tsp. of light miracle whip, mustard, 1 slice of low fat cheese and turkey which I am now buying from the deli hoping that it is healthier then the crap in the back of the store. Dinner was frozen pizza which wasn't smart but I had a small piece and a small piece of cake with 1/4 cup of ice cream. Lots of water and a 1 mile walk with a hill that has a 20 & 26% grade down but I went up. Then I ran the whole way home!

Sunday I have had 1 cup refried beans with 1 tablespoon shredded cheese, tomatoes and hot sauce. Dinner is 4 oz of thin wheat spaghetti with 3 tablespoons of sauce. A small sliver of cake and 1/4 cup ice cream.

I did not activity today. I know I should of but my husband was hit by a car and never came home. I called and called his phone but no answer. This morning I called his upper command and he went on a mission to find him in.... the hospital. So needless to say that is why I had no breakfast or activity. My chest hurts and I have a migraine. The stress really got to me but I am taking care of my limping husband who is OK!

Tomorrow starts a fresh new day. Hope everyone made wise choices this weekend!

Not so Good

So I thought today was going to be a good day. Then I find out that my husband has the day off. I was so happy but I also knew that it meant my day was not going to be planned. I had things that needed to be done on base which means I get Popeye's. Yes Popeye's. You see moving to Germany has taken me away from all of my fast food chains. German food is not as spicy as I would like. Kind of blah. I hope not to offend anyone, it's just how I feel. Anyways Popeye's has more flavor then most of the German food I have. It might help that I put tons of hot sauce on the chicken and there gravy is so good!! Anyways enough of that.

Breakfast was apple and cinnamon oatmeal with crystal light.

Lunch was Popeye's which is always a #6. 3 strips and a side and a biscuit. I looked at it and I though well I only eat out a couple times a month so its OK right.I went back and fourth for awhile.Is it worth it. Yes it is only a couple times a month but I am sure it is 1 full day plus some worth of calories. What I decided on was giving my husband one of my strips so know I only had 2. I skipped the ranch sauce and used the potatoes and gravy I had instead. I was going for diet soda but that was broken so I had Dr. Pepper. Not good choices but I think I am going somewhat in the right direction. I have decided I will do subway from now on and if I want Popeye's I will order off the kids menu and get the one strip!

Dinner was shredded beef with black beans, red peppers and tomatoes. I added hot sauce and 2 tablespoons of shredded cheese. I also ate off of a saucer so it looked like I had more.

I did do my workout video but it was at 9pm. I am all off when my hunny is home. Something I need to figure out better. Not to motivated at 9 to workout but when I was reading everyone else's blogs I realized that I need to step up my gain. I think blogging about my weight journey might just help.

Well hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!!! I hope every one's weekend will be successful!

A New Chapter

I have decided that I am done with the way that I look and feel. I want to be the happy person I once was. I hate going to the closet looking for something wonder if it is going to fit or not. I am in Germany for 3 years and I want to come back to the states shocking everyone. The hard part will be figuring out calories when we go places but we don't eat out to much! Part of living in Germany is trying food that I won't get to try again later, right? Well I guess that I will have to use common sense won't I? I am ready to be a new me! I want to be comfortable in a bikini on my 30th birthday. I want to be a good example for my daughter. How can I tell her what to watch when she eats if I do not. I want to be healthy. I am tired of being in the "obese" catagory. So here is to a new chapter in my life!

My goals....

*I love soda so I will only allow myself to drink it only when we go out. It will
no longer be in the house & my husband will no longer bring me some home when I
ask.

*I will do some sort of activity everyday of the week. I have heard winters are
bad in Germany so work out videos here I come. Atleast 30 min. a day.

*I will weigh in every Thursday and post results. As much as I want to share my
weight I just can't bring myself to do that so I will share the total amount
I would like to lose.

*I will allow myself to enjoy sweets but in moderation. I need to learn to eat what
I like but in smaller portions.

*This is going to be a lifestyle change not a "diet".

* I will post pictures of my progress for you guys to see and I will take
measurements for myself every month.

* I will leave myself 100 calories for a snack if I would like after dinner & that
is all. I need to stop eating so late.


I hope this will work. I know this will work. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I am sick of changing my clothes 5 times before I leave the house to see what makes me look half way decent. Hopefully next Thursday I will weigh in with a loss!! I will be honest its hard to motivate myself in the winter and it's snowing as I write this but I want to start next summer having fun and wearing cute clothes! I am really hoping blogging about this helps. Knowing that there are people that might be reading this. I can no longer lie to myself. It's time to be honest.