Another Holiday down!!!

With all of these holidays coming & birthdays & parties I start to hide in the house so that I don't have to go to any. It's the only way to get out alive..lol Well not really but sometimes it is a thought. Thursday was Thanksgiving but also my daughters birthday. She know is 12! This was just some of the food that was there when I took picutres. We had a turkey for every family. Pretty much what happened was everyone wanted their traditional food so we had food from every family.

Honestly I was a little worried. My friend & I tried to make every dish that we could diet friendly. I weighed myself this morning to see a loss of 6 ounces!! I will take it!! I would rather have a loss then a gain. I have a Holiday party this Friday for my husbands unit & then Saturday night we are going out for a friends birthday. I can make it through Dec. ALIVE!!! I KNOW I CAN!!

Pictures of dinners clearly is not going to happen because I forget about it until it is time to write blogs. Since Thursday though it has been leftovers because there are plenty & tonight it is the same again!!! Turkey, turkey turkey!!!





Now I am off to decorate some more. I am all over between cleaning, Christmas decorations & of course online shopping because that is the only way to go over here in Germany!!

PS... I will be participating in a flash mob on Saturday at Media Mart!!! For the Americans that is like Best Buy. We are taking over the store to do some ZUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Now lets pray they don't call the Polizei!!! I will let you all know what happens next week!!!

I guess it's OK

I guess my 4 ounce loss for the week is OK. I mean considering I had a bad back & my exercise, well I still did do everyday was not hard core like I like. I did take today off as we went drove 3 hours to do some Christmas shopping. We did a lot of walking but I know that does not do anything for me anymore.

This week is my daughters 12th birthday & Thanksgiving. My goal is to maintain this week. Well my goal really for the holiday season is to maintain. Last year I lost a pound over the holidays last year. If I lose again that would be great!!

I totally spaces taking pics of my dinners. Something I have not done in a very long time. I need to get back into it.

I took off exercise today & went out of town to shop. My exercise for this last week was

6 workouts
2307 calories burned
4 hours & 33 mins.

I hope to improve on this big time for this week!!!

Once A Week

I have been thinking about coming back to blogging for awhile. I am at a point in the journey where I need to relate to others that are on this journey & unfortunately I have no friends with me that share this journey. It seems that I needed to come back when I received an email from my friend Marcelle asking that I come back to blog even once a month. I have decided that I will blog once a week. I have been reading blogs just not commenting.

Since my last blog I have gone to the doctor & been denied having the insurance paying to have a tummy tuck. This has put a damper on my wanting to lose anymore weight but I think I have mentally gotten over that hump.

Here is my workout schedule up to mid December

Sundays ~ Zumba (morning) Run (evening)
Monday ~ Gym (focus on arms & abs & legs once in awhile)
Tuesday ~Zumba (evening) Short walk after
Wednesday ~ Gym (focus on arms & abs & legs once in awhile)
Thursday ~ Zumba (evening) Short walk after
Friday ~ Run
Saturday ~ Zumba (evening) Short walk after

When I am at the gym I will start with 15 min. cardio on the treadmill then one day I will do machines & on the other night I will do hand weights. End with some Sauna time & of course I am going to start with some tan time!

I am also thinking about taking photos of my dinner every night. Hoping this gets the scale moving though it is holiday season so my goal at this point is to not gain!!!

Pictures Help

Sometimes having picutres to look back on help you in this journey when you are at a slump & do not see a difference. I am so lucky to have Marcelle in my life. She has taken photos every year of me & it is nice to have something to look back on. It is prefect for when I feel stuck or have doubt that all the sweat & tears are helping. My first photos are from Dec. 2009, then July 2010 & July 2011.











I need these to push me on a day like this when I am ready to drop. My body is sore, I am tired but I feel I must continue strong until the 23rd. I go back to work that day & my exercise will drop considerably from where it is at now.

I am adding a body challenge class once a week starting in Sept. I have a couple more I can get to before I start work again then it is only night classes again except weekends. I know it is only once a week but I am hoping the toning will start to show on my body by Oct. I do not expect a lot of changes right away since it is only once a week.

What a Summer

I can't believe that summer is almost over (at least for me) & the weather has sucked, I have been gone 90% of it traveling & I am having to cram every possible workout in before I go back to work which is taking a toll. I have traveled to Tunisia, Italy, Austria, Czech Republic & Paris! Honestly if there is any other place I have gone to beside various city's in Germany I frankly do not remember. All of this traveling had me eating out an average of 2 meals a day & for at least 4 weeks of it all of my meals were eaten out. I have never had Burger King & McDonald's so much in my life. Did I eat salads? NOPE. I am not a fan of the balsamic vinegar they give out as dressings in Europe. So I had hamburgers, shakes, fries & chicken nuggets.

I weighed in for the first official weigh in this morning to get back on track & I gained a pound. I am shocked there is not more of gain but I am happy. Well there was a lot of walking I was with my grandparents so trust in saying this was not of any kind of speed. My grandpa is 80 & had knee surgery so we had to take it slooowwww.

I had to move my appt. for Behavioral Health to next week since I was in Paris when my last schedule was made. I can not wait to go talk to them about my feelings on all the lose skin I have left to look at, how it has affected my relationship with my husband & the struggles I deal with when I look in the mirror during Zumba & well trying on clothes. Honestly it has put a damper on my push to lose weight. Why push myself anymore. All I will add is lose skin to try & hide in shirts & pants. I am at a healthy weight right now & my goal on the side bar is me wanting my weight lower. Either way I will have surgery rather it be here in Germany or when we move back to the states. I worked to hard to still be disgusted by the person I see in the mirror.

Leaving you with a few pics from the many places we went.....


Neuschwanstein Castle

View from waiting area at Neuschwanstein Castle

Paris, France

Paris, France

Prague, Czech Republic

Hit Rock Bottom

Thank you for the comments on my last post. I really was not sure who would read since I have been MIA for awhile but it is nice to know some of you still care!

I am not sure what slump I am in but it is getting worse. The sad past is my friend needs me now more then anything & I am in a slump. Her husband is getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan. They have been married 10 years & somehow he has never had to go. I think this might be harder on her just for that reason alone. She needs an upbeat friend to make her not worry & I am in a slump. I just want to have my pity party & cry. I truly have no clue where this is coming from & my husband has even noticed a difference in my mood.

Maybe it is becasue I am 3.6 pounds away from my goal I had set for myself & now that I am close I feel like I need to lose 20 plus more pounds. On the BMI chart that will put me on the low side of healthy. It is all just becoming to much for me right now. Until my stomach goes away I truly feel this is going to be a never ending mind game. I can't even break a smile when someone tells me that I have lost weight or look so good. In my mind I am still seeing fat...

I am going to leave you with some pictures from Tunisia. We went there for a week & Italy and I managed not to gain a pound! That did make me smile!!






These pictures are all from Tunisia. I have not even gotten close to the Italy ones yet!! Hope everyone has a great weekend!! It is a Holiday weekend for us so the men all have a 4 day! We are throwing a game night which might be the last for our friend before he leaves. Hoping for many laughs tonight!!

Mind Games

I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged. Life is busy working full time & with hubby being in the military it seems like all other chores in & out of the house fall on me. I can never depend on him for much it seems.

Looking back I also realized that there wasn't much I had to say that was worth reading. I am at a number on the scale truthfully that I never thought I would see again. I have maintained keeping the weight off & that has had me happy. So why do I need to keep blogging?

Well I think it hit today when I was doing Zumba & almost in tears. I don't even want to go to class anymore. I feel like I have no friends around me that understand. My best friend weighs 115. I weigh....a lot more then that. She still thinks she is fat. Yet I say anything about me weight I am jumped on. REALLY? I would give anything to weigh in the 140's.

I would like to lose at least another 20 pounds & go from there.

No one tells you the mind games that you will play with yourselves during this journey. How the skin will hang, nothing will fit right, how you can spend an entire class at the gym playing with your clothes. I HATE IT. I just want to cry.

I see this everyday...



Even though I look like this...



I have an appt. Aug. 1st with Behavioral Health. I need to talk to someone that isn't going to tell me how far I have come & how beautiful I am. Those are not the demons I am playing with right. How I felt when I weight 60 pounds heavier is how I feel now.

Stress & Zumba in the driveway!

The stress I am having really has nothing to do with weight loss but it sure is causing some. That or it is my salads that I am eating everyday. I am down another 1.3 pounds from yesterday. I am only 1.4 pounds away from my first goal weight that I thought would make me happy. Clearly I have added that I need to lose at least another 10-15 pounds.

I was able to pick up my new car yesterday! I love it! Never ever did I think I would be able to own a brand new car this early on in my life. My husband sure does spoil me!

Like the pink flower effect??lol

Now as excited as I am about this with the government threatening to shut down I am nervous. My husbands paycheck and mine both come from the government. It's after 4pm here in Germany and well when the Commissary (where we buy our food) closes at 8pm if the government shuts down then they will not be open tomorrow. Yes we can buy food on the economy but it is more expensive for us and the fact that our paycheck will only be for one week & not two weeks does not help. Fingers crossed they get this taken care of by midnight tonight. Last thing we want to do is have to go to work for free. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Mine will be great once I find out if I will be getting a paycheck or not. Either way I will be doing some Zumba this weekend even if it has to be in the front yard in the drive way like last weekend!

Weigh In &Promised Pictures

I am home sick with a cold. Just my luck. My nose won't stop running, my throat hurts & if I could sleep more then 2 hours at a time life would be grand. Nothing like being stuck at home on a beautiful sunny warm day in Germany.

I have so much to say I am not sure where to start. I go to the doctor next week to find out more about what physical therapy I will need for my right foot. Also well I was at the doctor I talked to them about the lose skin on my stomach. Pretty much exercise will not stretch the skin back to place. The only thing I can do is surgery. That in a way has taken away some motivation if you know what I mean. Why keep pushing if I will not get the results I want. Sometimes I feel like my stomach bothers me more then I remember when I was 60 pounds heavier. Oh the joys of being overweight then attempting to lose it.




I weighed in this morning and I am down 2.9 pounds from last week. This is exciting. My friend Marcelle is doing the 17 Day Diet & asked if I wanted to join. I was on board and then fell off by about 5pm. Problem was I was starving. Unfortunately in my job I can not snack. I know some people think I might be padding that a bit but I was talking with the other Kinder Aids & none of them have time to hardly take a drink. Kindergarten is nonstop hands on with the kids. Also with them all being military they are very clingy and attempting to use the bathroom any time past my lunch break proves to be a no go. Either way I have taken bits and pieces from the book & clearly it is working!

Here are the pictures that I promised. Took me awhile to talk myself into posting them. Also a picture of about a years difference. I don't see much of a change but I do notice my butt has gotten smaller!!



As you can see I had to get bottoms that went way up and you can see why my stomach is bothering me.



The legs I mean really as much as I am on them and what not this is driving me nuts. I want them to shrink and now!



On a last note I wanted to share a new purse & wallet I bought. New happy colors! This is the one I was talking about on facebook Marcelle!



Also for my birthday my husband got me a a necklace from The Pretty Peacock.

It is the coordinates of the first place we met. You give them the address and they do the rest. I love it & wear it all the time.

Well sorry for the all over the place blog. Guess if I blogged more this would not happen.

PS. I get to pick up my new car today!!! 2011 Chrysler 200!!

Time To Get Off My Butt

I have been MIA for too long, I have been in maintenance for too long, I have been blah for too long.

I keep saying I am going to share news with you then I get busy and forget to get back here, my exercise is slipping and the summer is coming. I need to snap out of this rut that I am in before vacation hits and I am kicking myself in the butt for letting time slip away.

The news I wanted to share is that we are going to California for two weeks with 2 other family's for a vacation that will be pretty much to die for. Our friends will be married 10 years in May and he is getting ready to deploy so we are off to Cali in June to renew the vows before he leaves. It is going to be wonderful.

What won't be is my weight if I don't get it down or at least tone up.

I am tired of wearing a skirtini. I want to wear a bikini. A skirtini is a pain when you are trying to swim or playing with children.




So here is my plan. Be sure to brace yourselves because this is me showing more then I ever thought I would. I am going to take a photo of myself in the bikini I just bought and post it on here. I am hoping that showing you guys will make me push myself. I am going to work on my plan tomorrow since I am taking a half day & Friday is the day to kick butt for the next two months. I will be breaking the months up so that I am not overwhelmed.

My goal is to be down 5-10 pounds but at least 5 pounds. Lots of toning also. Picture will be posted no later then Saturday as I need to paint toes and such. Get out of this winter weather and such.

I will be doing Zumba, C25K & somehow adding the kettlebell if I can find something I like to do it with.

Fingers crossed these 2 months show me a change!

Really Fast

This week has been non stop and it is only Tuesday night. In part because here in Germany you have to run your car through inspection once a year. Mostly what happens is they look at it when your license plates get ready to expire and you either pass or have to fix things they find wrong. Well being American & having the Germans inspect our cars they pretty much fail 99% of us for anything little thing they can find. Then we have to go out on their economy and have them fix it. So to cut to the chase my car is going in the shop Wed. after work so I have been running errands non stop.

I am 8 days late for my TOM yet I have all the symptoms. The scale is showing a gain. I am stressed. Now I need physical therapy for my right foot. My walking partner's husband is going to be gone for 6 weeks so there goes my nightly walk. Now I will have to depend on myself.

Pretty much life is a roller coaster and mine seems to be on the track going down..... Hopefully soon it will start climbing back up towards the sun! Hopefully in the next couple days I will have time to sit and blog. Sure do miss it.

I need more hours in my day

I have been so busy it is past annoying. Just once this week I would love to come home after work but I have had & will have stuff to do every single day after. Living in Germany where nothing is opened on Sunday drives me nuts. In the states it never mattered when you wanted to get something done they where open. Here on post because Germans have to be employed they close early or whenever. Drives me insane. I pretty much work the same hours as most things on post which means praying I get there before they close.

My eating is all over the place. My job has me beyond stressed being in a situation I feel I should of never been placed in. I need to get a hold of myself and realize that food is not my answer. Food will not make my situation any better and in fact when I am doing eating whatever it is that I chose to eat I know I will be upset with myself for doing it.


I have exciting news that I hope to post soon but I feel like I need to be more prepared then I am when writing the post. I need a game plan first. Something to make me accountable.

I am going to work on my calories and food plan now. I need to get this under control asap.

A late post with my Weigh In

Boy oh boy have I been busy. I don't feel like I have had time to sit & read blogs,breath or even clean my house. Yet this has been a week that I have exercised everyday. Not really sure how that happens. Either way my weigh in for this week is a loss of .9 of a pound. Yup one ounce away from a pound. Sounds about right for my weigh in's.

Looking at my side bar I really don't think 13 pounds is going to be enough to make me happy. At least with this slow weigh loss I am keeping it off but I think I am going to want to lose more then 13 pounds. Maybe 125 is a number that I need to try for.

It was an interesting eating week. We were getting ready for One Hundred Day at school in Kindergarten. There has been some major issues in the classroom with one of the kids which has caused some major stress.

Yesterday we had a birthday party at a friends. I went with a green shake (which was not great). I ended up cutting a sandwich in half & eating some carrots with dressing with about a spoonful of pasta. The cake was Dirt Cake so I had a spoonful of that and it was all. I was doing good and proud of myself. Then my daughter decided to say some things & I sent her home. My husband & I went to the movies. I was so upset I ate entire bag of M&M's. Not the single serving size & not the big bag. The middle size one. Not sure what I thought it was going to do but I was just so mad at the time I really didn't care. This is a area I need to work on.





Friday night a group of us drove about an hour away to take a one hour Zumba class with a Master Zumba Instructor. It was great to see the different styles out there. The woman in the yellow top was the Master teacher. She did more of an African style dance which was not really any of our styles that we do. It was a great time though. A great way to hang out & burn calories & not consume them.

Woke up to it snowing this morning. Yesterday I was wearing flip flops. Not a happy camper right now. Off to get ready for Zumba!

Weigh In

Today is another weigh in day. When it comes to my weigh in's I feel like time is flying by. It seems like it is Thursday & then Thursday again. Drives me nuts sometimes. Anyways I am down from last week. -1.3 pounds! I have finally broken into another set of "numbers" if you will. I just want to clearify that the weight on the scale in the picture is not my weight & although I would not mind being that weight I doubt that will happen. If you notice my ticker to the right you guys have a new picture coming to you in 1 ounce!!! I have almost lost 50 pounds. Talk about being close. My weight loss from the highest weight I have ever been has me down 61.9 pounds!!

My exercise has not been that great compared to last month. I am averaging 5-6 days a week when I was doing 6-7. I miss the 6-7 but life has been busy this month. Hopefully March will bring me back to my 6-7 days a week. I was told Zumba will be added to Tuesday night. So hopefully I can make that one since Monday's seem so hard to get to.

With the lack of sun & warm weather we are having I thought I would have my nails down in neon pink. Funny thing is I was getting funny looks from the other girls around me getting their nails done I have had more compliments on my nails with this color then another time. Men included.



I wanted to share with you the Valentines card I got from my bestie & workout buddy. Bacon in a shape of a heart. She knows I won't eat bacon much anymore so this was perfect. The Orchid was from here also & the other flowers ares are from my hubby!





I am supposed to go snowboarding Saturday. I have been skiing, I have been ice skating. Snowboarding I have not. So this will not be me...



but I am sure this will be....


Fingers crossed I break nothing so that I can continue to Zumba it up!!