Day 118

The sun has been shining two days in a row but the temp. has been -8. Now if I could get the sun and the temp. to get together and go the right direction I would be good. I went to Zumba today and I swear that she is getting tougher and tougher ever class. I love it and my butt is so sore right now. Makes me feel like I am doing something good! Went and sat in the sauna after class. It is my TOM so I am dreading the scale not that I don't every week but I will get on it and face it no matter what on Thursday!

Went to lunch after to meet her husband and had Taco Bell. I had a nacho supreme again and I wasn't really enjoying it. I didn't eat it all which is a big step for me. I left most of the chips and just ate the stuff on top.


I am excited that Chris comes home Thursday but I am already a little worried. He doesn't want me to go to the gym on Friday and well I understand that I need to workout. He has a 4 day so maybe I can get him to take me to the gym or something. A woman can dream can't she?

I am going to look for some new workout pants on the internet today. There is nothing on base and I had to hold my pants up the entire time I was dancing around. That or the class would of had a eye full and really I am not that fit yet to do that to the people I have class with.


"Failure is only postponed success...The habit of persistence is the habit of victory." -Herbert Kaufman

Day 117

I received an award from Becky at In The Trenches. I love the blogs that she writes and her youngest daughter is to cute! I also love the bright color of the award. Made my day!

The rules to this award are as follows....

-put the logo on your blog or with your post
-pass the award onto 12 bloggers
-link them!
-let the nominees know by commenting on their blog
-share the love and link back to the person that gave you this award

So after the last award I gave out most people never picked up I am going to be a bad girl, cheat and give it to any of my followers that wants to snag it!!


Today has been an emotional day for me. Thank god Chris comes home Thursday night. I have found a friend that has her own little ways of putting me down here and there and I already am not feeling that hot about myself as it is. I would really love to just go home back to Colorado but that isn't an option. So instead I will put on a smiling face well inside I feel claustrophobic. I literally feel like I am trapped in my own body finding it hard to breath. I have no clue what is wrong with me. As I type this I feel as though someone has there arms wrapped around my throat. It is so painful and all I want to do is curl up and wait. Wait for the feeling to go away.

I went to the gym today and pushed myself at a very fast walk. I wanted to run but every time I started the treadmill sounded as if it was going to die. So I decided to walk very fast for 30 min. I wasn't changing treadmills because that would of made much sense.

I really want to thank Amy, Dawne and Steve for the comments yesterday. They had some really good points and I need to keep a lot in mind. I am not so sure it is the weight loss I want to give up more so the blog. I really don't know. I am just not me lately and I am really sorry.




"Leave nothing to chance. The difference between the championship and merely good team is often the perfection of minor details." -Coach John Wooden

Day 115 & 116

I really do not know what is wrong with me lately. I am getting bored with everything. I thought that having a blog would push me harder. That reading about other people on the same journey would help me not feel so alone. Instead it has discouraged me. I understand that we are all different and weight loss affects us all so differently but when you try hard and push yourself and you don't see the numbers move as fast as other people week after week it is going to start making you not care. I went back through and looked at all of my weigh ins. In the last 116 days I have only lost more then 2 pounds 3 times. I have given up soda(though that was recent), only eat out maybe 2 times a month. Eat veggies and fruit everyday. Workout and the last couple months with weights and yet I am thanked but the scale with losses that start with 0 then a point. I am deciding on if I should take a break from this blog. It is really starting to bring me down and I feel it is doing the opposite to me know. I am no longer finding joy in coming here. I really don't know what to do.

I will talk to my husband when he gets back and see what he thinks. Maybe I am feeling down because he is still gone and he is my best friend. I tell him everything about this journey yet he isn't here to tell. He gives me just the right amount of reassurance with a little bit of a push to do more. Maybe that is all I need. I need his push or at this point just a hug.

I really have nothing else to write at the moment.Lots to think about right now. I will blog until I talk to Chris though.





"For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour." -Mary Kay Ash

Day 114

Here is an update on my Perfect 10.



Work out at least 6 days a week... I am doing good on this one. Going to the gym makes the videos not seem as bad anymore but I do hate them still.

* Do 30 push ups a day & sit up's (yes they will be girly push ups)...The sit ups and push ups were mostly for my arms and stomach because I wasn't going to the gym. Now that I am going to the gym I am using the weight machines and even the ones for my stomach. So I am doing them just not the way I first thought!

* Eat fruit & veggies everyday...No issue here as always. I am always finding ways to add veggies into my diet and I am loving it.

* Drink at least 48oz. of WATER a day...I am drinking more then 48oz of water and as of today I am 18 days freed of any kind of soda. I am feeling much better and my cravings for sweets have gone down since I gave up diet!

*Workout twice a day...I also decided on this because I felt I wasn't getting enough from the videos. The gym is now taking care of that though so I am not working out twice a day.

A fact about me that you may not know is I played the piano for 5 years and at one point I was learning from 3 books at a time. Unfortunately I gave it up and decided to take up kickboxing instead. I needed something that allowed me to move around more.

Day 113

Today was weigh in day. I was excited but I wasn't. Workouts this week have not been the best and in fact there wasn't even a workout on Tuesday. Either way I only lost .6 of a pound. I swear that I could win an award for the slowest weight loss in history. It's starting to depress me reading all these blogs with 2-5 pound losses every week.

I am working out, watching what I am eating and have even cut soda out completely. I haven't had a soda since Jan. 18th. Fast food is almost nothing. I have had it once since Chris left. I have a goal for my birthday and as it gets closer I am getting more frustrated. Meeting it is looking harder and harder.



Went to Zumba this morning and I felt like I had my butt handed to. She didn't stop. It was an hour straight. We realized today that this was only the 3rd class we have been to and missing class just can't happen. Thanks to the snow it was canceled yesterday.



* I need to remember that I am lower then I have been in long time
* Every little amount that falls off is healthy
* I am down a total of 35.3 pounds from the highest I have ever been
* I have found a love for Zumba that I might have not if I decided the couch was
was better for me
* My husband and I are getting along a lot better now (of course he would have to be
home)




I think I am just having a blah day. My husband won't be home till next Thursday and I am only talking to him every once and awhile. I think it is getting to me finally.




"Time, patience, and perseverance will accomplish all things." -Unknown

Day 111 & 112

What a day it was yesterday. I went to Frankfurt with my friend for her follow up appt. and we drove back in a blizzard and winds that moved the cars all over the road. It was the longest day of my life. We left at 930 and I didn't walk into the house until 8. Needless to say I did not exercise. I was going to in the morning but woke with the biggest migraine I have had in awhile. I did pack a lunch and brought 2 water bottles. We only stopped for gas once and I never went in for anything. I am so proud of my self.

Well we were at the doctor yesterday it is interesting to see how the Germans do things compared to the states. Like waiting for an hour to be seen. That would not fly in the states. Here I guess it does. The doctor also informed us in the best English that he could is that Americans are more overweight then Germans because we don't have wheat bread. I think he was a little confused. He also informed us that Army wives are bigger then the men and in American there is healthy and happy and then fat. Well I have seen some really big Germans so I am not sure where he gets all of his info. He said the food here was healthier. I will give him points for the fact that they have fresher food year around and convenience with restaurants isn't here so getting all the junk isn't as easy but there food also is flavorless. I was a little irritated him because he was overweight and in the weighting room there was 3 people that didn't even fit in the chairs. It really amazes me.



There was no Zumba today because of the weather. I was crushed because after being in a car all day I wanted to move but maybe tomorrow. Still did a workout but there wasn't the motivation there like if I had been in a class.

NSV that sucks....My wedding ring has fallen off more then once in the last couple of days. I went to get in purse on Monday and they just slide off into the purse. I might be looking single here soon. Chris has agreed to buy me a ring when I loss all the weight and maintain it for awhile. The maintaining it is all my idea since I am right now unsure what weight I will want to be at.

Day 109 & 110

This weekend was pretty uneventful considering Chris is still gone and I am still looking for an automatic car. Saturday I ate more then I should of and I am not sure why. It was as bad as it used to be but I am hungry. I think it might be because there is not anything good to eat. I really need to go shopping.




Sunday I decided to shovel snow as it needed to be moved in front of the garage. I know Chris isn't due home for another two weeks but I don't really see all this melting either. I figure it is good exercise to.



Today I went to the gym and did 2 miles on the treadmill. Running and walking. Boy oh boy I was not motivated to be running at 9 this morning. I think I should have gotten to bed way before 2am. Well Rachelle and I went walking on Saturday she decided to take a picture of my backside. Normally this is something that I would of yelled at her for doing but now I wanted to see it.



I would just like to point out how much room that I have in my pants. I think I could go for some new ones but I am going to wait. I really don't go anywhere enough to justify buying some more unless I drop a lot all of a sudden and I doubt that would happen. Tomorrow I am going to Frankfurt with a friend for a doctor appt. We will be gone all day so I will not be doing a blog.