Another Holiday down!!!

With all of these holidays coming & birthdays & parties I start to hide in the house so that I don't have to go to any. It's the only way to get out alive..lol Well not really but sometimes it is a thought. Thursday was Thanksgiving but also my daughters birthday. She know is 12! This was just some of the food that was there when I took picutres. We had a turkey for every family. Pretty much what happened was everyone wanted their traditional food so we had food from every family.

Honestly I was a little worried. My friend & I tried to make every dish that we could diet friendly. I weighed myself this morning to see a loss of 6 ounces!! I will take it!! I would rather have a loss then a gain. I have a Holiday party this Friday for my husbands unit & then Saturday night we are going out for a friends birthday. I can make it through Dec. ALIVE!!! I KNOW I CAN!!

Pictures of dinners clearly is not going to happen because I forget about it until it is time to write blogs. Since Thursday though it has been leftovers because there are plenty & tonight it is the same again!!! Turkey, turkey turkey!!!





Now I am off to decorate some more. I am all over between cleaning, Christmas decorations & of course online shopping because that is the only way to go over here in Germany!!

PS... I will be participating in a flash mob on Saturday at Media Mart!!! For the Americans that is like Best Buy. We are taking over the store to do some ZUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Now lets pray they don't call the Polizei!!! I will let you all know what happens next week!!!

I guess it's OK

I guess my 4 ounce loss for the week is OK. I mean considering I had a bad back & my exercise, well I still did do everyday was not hard core like I like. I did take today off as we went drove 3 hours to do some Christmas shopping. We did a lot of walking but I know that does not do anything for me anymore.

This week is my daughters 12th birthday & Thanksgiving. My goal is to maintain this week. Well my goal really for the holiday season is to maintain. Last year I lost a pound over the holidays last year. If I lose again that would be great!!

I totally spaces taking pics of my dinners. Something I have not done in a very long time. I need to get back into it.

I took off exercise today & went out of town to shop. My exercise for this last week was

6 workouts
2307 calories burned
4 hours & 33 mins.

I hope to improve on this big time for this week!!!

Once A Week

I have been thinking about coming back to blogging for awhile. I am at a point in the journey where I need to relate to others that are on this journey & unfortunately I have no friends with me that share this journey. It seems that I needed to come back when I received an email from my friend Marcelle asking that I come back to blog even once a month. I have decided that I will blog once a week. I have been reading blogs just not commenting.

Since my last blog I have gone to the doctor & been denied having the insurance paying to have a tummy tuck. This has put a damper on my wanting to lose anymore weight but I think I have mentally gotten over that hump.

Here is my workout schedule up to mid December

Sundays ~ Zumba (morning) Run (evening)
Monday ~ Gym (focus on arms & abs & legs once in awhile)
Tuesday ~Zumba (evening) Short walk after
Wednesday ~ Gym (focus on arms & abs & legs once in awhile)
Thursday ~ Zumba (evening) Short walk after
Friday ~ Run
Saturday ~ Zumba (evening) Short walk after

When I am at the gym I will start with 15 min. cardio on the treadmill then one day I will do machines & on the other night I will do hand weights. End with some Sauna time & of course I am going to start with some tan time!

I am also thinking about taking photos of my dinner every night. Hoping this gets the scale moving though it is holiday season so my goal at this point is to not gain!!!

Pictures Help

Sometimes having picutres to look back on help you in this journey when you are at a slump & do not see a difference. I am so lucky to have Marcelle in my life. She has taken photos every year of me & it is nice to have something to look back on. It is prefect for when I feel stuck or have doubt that all the sweat & tears are helping. My first photos are from Dec. 2009, then July 2010 & July 2011.











I need these to push me on a day like this when I am ready to drop. My body is sore, I am tired but I feel I must continue strong until the 23rd. I go back to work that day & my exercise will drop considerably from where it is at now.

I am adding a body challenge class once a week starting in Sept. I have a couple more I can get to before I start work again then it is only night classes again except weekends. I know it is only once a week but I am hoping the toning will start to show on my body by Oct. I do not expect a lot of changes right away since it is only once a week.

What a Summer

I can't believe that summer is almost over (at least for me) & the weather has sucked, I have been gone 90% of it traveling & I am having to cram every possible workout in before I go back to work which is taking a toll. I have traveled to Tunisia, Italy, Austria, Czech Republic & Paris! Honestly if there is any other place I have gone to beside various city's in Germany I frankly do not remember. All of this traveling had me eating out an average of 2 meals a day & for at least 4 weeks of it all of my meals were eaten out. I have never had Burger King & McDonald's so much in my life. Did I eat salads? NOPE. I am not a fan of the balsamic vinegar they give out as dressings in Europe. So I had hamburgers, shakes, fries & chicken nuggets.

I weighed in for the first official weigh in this morning to get back on track & I gained a pound. I am shocked there is not more of gain but I am happy. Well there was a lot of walking I was with my grandparents so trust in saying this was not of any kind of speed. My grandpa is 80 & had knee surgery so we had to take it slooowwww.

I had to move my appt. for Behavioral Health to next week since I was in Paris when my last schedule was made. I can not wait to go talk to them about my feelings on all the lose skin I have left to look at, how it has affected my relationship with my husband & the struggles I deal with when I look in the mirror during Zumba & well trying on clothes. Honestly it has put a damper on my push to lose weight. Why push myself anymore. All I will add is lose skin to try & hide in shirts & pants. I am at a healthy weight right now & my goal on the side bar is me wanting my weight lower. Either way I will have surgery rather it be here in Germany or when we move back to the states. I worked to hard to still be disgusted by the person I see in the mirror.

Leaving you with a few pics from the many places we went.....


Neuschwanstein Castle

View from waiting area at Neuschwanstein Castle

Paris, France

Paris, France

Prague, Czech Republic

Hit Rock Bottom

Thank you for the comments on my last post. I really was not sure who would read since I have been MIA for awhile but it is nice to know some of you still care!

I am not sure what slump I am in but it is getting worse. The sad past is my friend needs me now more then anything & I am in a slump. Her husband is getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan. They have been married 10 years & somehow he has never had to go. I think this might be harder on her just for that reason alone. She needs an upbeat friend to make her not worry & I am in a slump. I just want to have my pity party & cry. I truly have no clue where this is coming from & my husband has even noticed a difference in my mood.

Maybe it is becasue I am 3.6 pounds away from my goal I had set for myself & now that I am close I feel like I need to lose 20 plus more pounds. On the BMI chart that will put me on the low side of healthy. It is all just becoming to much for me right now. Until my stomach goes away I truly feel this is going to be a never ending mind game. I can't even break a smile when someone tells me that I have lost weight or look so good. In my mind I am still seeing fat...

I am going to leave you with some pictures from Tunisia. We went there for a week & Italy and I managed not to gain a pound! That did make me smile!!






These pictures are all from Tunisia. I have not even gotten close to the Italy ones yet!! Hope everyone has a great weekend!! It is a Holiday weekend for us so the men all have a 4 day! We are throwing a game night which might be the last for our friend before he leaves. Hoping for many laughs tonight!!

Mind Games

I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged. Life is busy working full time & with hubby being in the military it seems like all other chores in & out of the house fall on me. I can never depend on him for much it seems.

Looking back I also realized that there wasn't much I had to say that was worth reading. I am at a number on the scale truthfully that I never thought I would see again. I have maintained keeping the weight off & that has had me happy. So why do I need to keep blogging?

Well I think it hit today when I was doing Zumba & almost in tears. I don't even want to go to class anymore. I feel like I have no friends around me that understand. My best friend weighs 115. I weigh....a lot more then that. She still thinks she is fat. Yet I say anything about me weight I am jumped on. REALLY? I would give anything to weigh in the 140's.

I would like to lose at least another 20 pounds & go from there.

No one tells you the mind games that you will play with yourselves during this journey. How the skin will hang, nothing will fit right, how you can spend an entire class at the gym playing with your clothes. I HATE IT. I just want to cry.

I see this everyday...



Even though I look like this...



I have an appt. Aug. 1st with Behavioral Health. I need to talk to someone that isn't going to tell me how far I have come & how beautiful I am. Those are not the demons I am playing with right. How I felt when I weight 60 pounds heavier is how I feel now.