Thursday, January 27, 2011

Growing up without a cell phone

I know this is a weight loss blog but my grandma sent me this & I just had to share it. Gave me a laugh & laughing is good for your health so that makes it OK that I post here, right?lol!

Growing Up Without a Cell Phone

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious When I was a
kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about
how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning....Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH
ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how
hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it,
but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves,
in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with
a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a
matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick
our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal
music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ
would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no
CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape
and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone
rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house,
you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be
out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror...
not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah,
right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had
no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss,
your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't
know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never
win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster
until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!!
Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we
had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh,
no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside...
you were doing chores!

14)And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you
hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at
the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the
dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first
place! See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have
got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

15) And you idiots, don't you know the brim on a cap is to protect your
eyes from the sun, if the manufacturer wanted it in the back they would
have put it there!

The Over 40 Crowd
(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile)


Sunshine Mama said...

I am just rolling and rolling! This is so funny!!!! I have to show my husband. I totally get all that. I am there! The tapes screwing up...yes! The dj talking while you're trying to tape? Yes!

Thanks so much for the laugh. This is great!

Fran said...

Oh my God I'm old: this is about my childhood :)

Lindsey said...

I'm over 30 and this still applies. The hubby and I were talking about this the other day. All these kids with cell phones kills me. HELL NO. A 12 year old does not need a cell phone. What is it with people these days?